Madame Mervin, Hammer of Sues (das_mervin) wrote,
Madame Mervin, Hammer of Sues

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I think I already left a comment. I'm not sure. But I would love to read your hilarious review on Bree Tanner :]
No prob! You are now friended. :D
Just wanted to say that I've been reading--and loving--your sporks of the Twilight series ^_^ I also started "The Darkest Hour" and so far it is EXCELLENT. Keep up the good work! :D
Hey, I want to post this video ( about my all time favorite character on one of your Sue sporks and saying something like if that Sue has been through something like that, then they have a right to complain. I thought about using it for Bella Swan and telling you to replace 30 dollars he mentions with boyfriend and you have how I feel John Locke (the character in the video) would think of Bella's situation summed up completely, or do you know a better Sue spork where this would be more relatable?
Just wanted to let ya know I friended you for your flocked sporks, IE Bree Tanner :3 You make the sacrifice so we don't have to! *loves*
No problem at all. :) Know that I would greatly appreciate comments on those, because I run those recaps first by the journal and then beef them up for das_sporking so they'll be as thorough and accurate as possible. Thank you for your compliments!
I actually TRIED reading the Bree Tanner story online and I reviewed it a little but it couldn't finish it because my brain was melting and it couldn't take it anymore. I'm surprised you managed to do so especially after that god-awful Twilight series.

Mind if I try and read your sporking? :D

Question: What did you think of Bree overall? Reminded you too much of Bella or just another idiotic character?

She reminded me a lot of Bella. That's scary, yo.
No problem at all! I'd really appreciate it if you did, actually, seeing as you've actually read the story. My recaps of the series here are actually first-runs--the comments I get from everybody help me beef them up, correct stuff I got wrong, and make sure I encompass all different opinions to make my own clearer, so I'd LOVE for you to come on board and read through it. :D I've friended you, so you can look at it now.

My opinion on Bree is made....more than clear in the recap. Suffice to say, she is the perfect and flawless blend of Edward Cullen's psychosis, Bella Swan's whiny attitude, and Jacob Black's horribly stilted "tough guy slang". It's AWFUL.
Hey, you have got to see this, it's hilarious!

Also, am I the only one who's completely lost interest in vampires, because I now feel that they have been done to death?
Whew, this is a load of stuff!!! Reading through those sporked fics, I just realized that I actually used to LIKE those kind of fics... Well, not the precise ones you spork, but they're written in similar fashion. That's such an embarassment >___< I was so bad that I actually got sporked myself once... I commend your patience on going through all these stupidity...

By the way, I can't seem to open the Bree Tanner thing. Is it locked?

Yeah, they're locked--I just friended you, so you can check it out now. Sorry I took so long to get back to you.


7 years ago

Hi! Your recaps are awesome! Would it be possible for me to read your Bree Tanner recap?
Sure! Sorry for the late reply--you're friended now. :)
I'v been a horrible, horrible reader...I've been reading your sprokings for a while now, and have never even ATTEMPTED to comment. This is my attempt...
It's failing. Hard.
Anyway, I'll probably be sending you a friend request right as I post this, so try not to, you know..spazz out when the random request comes through.
You know, I've heard you and some other people mention a Twilight rewrite called "The Blue Hour" or something. Is it available for reading anywhere? Because it really sounds interesting.
It's got a tag.

Just two chapters, though--and they are going to go through some editing. Those were first drafts, and were written before TDH was conceived.


7 years ago


7 years ago


Like mirrorinmymind, I've been reading your sporkings a lot, and I follow das_sporking. Seeing those updates makes me so happy--except for Ariana's because I'm afraid the original text is so boring I can barely follow it :P. And I've tried making a few comments, but I'm not nearly as funny as others and terribly shy!

But I thought I might try to friend you if that's okay? I'd love to read more of your sporks, they're funny and insightful! (is that too fangirl-ly?) ;D
Hi there! :D

Yes, I remember your comments. Glad to have you at das_sporking, and glad to keep you entertained. :)

Friending is no problem at all. You are now friended back--first drafts of the TW recaps are over here, so if you want to skip ahead, you can do that all you want.

You make me blush. :) I hope my LJ isn't too boring for ya. You're gonna have to deal with me fangirling my new fandom--I have been sucked into the vortex of "Supernatural" and cannot get enough of Dean/Castiel and Sam Winchester. Whoo!


7 years ago


7 years ago


7 years ago

Awww...How come your 'Short Second Life of Bree Tanner' Sporking is blocked!? :( I was hopeing to read it.
They are just flocked--they are first-run sporkings, not the ones that will go up on das_sporking. However, I think I am now going to unflock them--I've gotten enough requests for those, and I guess you are just the one that pushes me over. :) You can now read at your leisure.
I recall reading and laughing at your MSTs of Harry Potter fictions on the site "Hammerofthesues". Lately, it seems that the site is nowhere to be found.

I tell you, it was heck finding any of your work, and the previous links I had used (from a friend, who knows a friends, who knows a fiend,, who knows a coule of gals) are expires/lost.

Of course, it appears your wonderful sporks are still here on LJ, but I kinda miss the colours that differed you from Hyde.
Hello. :)

Yes, I have made the move to LJ from my original website. Pretty much all of the sporkings are at das_sporking now, mostly because LJ is easier to manage in the HTML department, as well as easier in getting feedback.

As for the colors...well, I kind of miss them, too, but that is a lot of extra work, and people were actually split about half and half as to whether or not they liked it, and considering the half that didn't said it was hard to read, I decided to just do away with them.

But! Main point is, it's now das_sporking, and there is a lot of new stuff available. I'm terribly sorry for any inconvenience, and hope you found this informative. :)
Hey, Mervin. I'd love to read your New Moon movie review, but it keeps saying Access Denied. Is there a reason for that?
Yeah, I'm afraid that, for a variety of reasons, that review is Friends Only/locked. Sorry about that.
Hello, Mervin!

Like most people here, I've been a lurker reading your amazing Twilight sporks. I was originally gonna ask if I could friend you, but as I was reading the comments I realized that you didn't really mind random people friending you so I didn't wanna ask you the same question. I just wanted to drop a note. :)

Also, It may seem like a weird request but...well, Since I've read your sporks I've gotten very conscious about what I read and write. Seeing as you and Hyde are very good writers, I just wanted to ask: what resources do you use to aid your writing? Even though I write as a hobby, I like doing a good job.

Thanks in advance!

Hi! Even though you didn't ask it, friend away. :) I will friend you back if you want to see the few locked posts I've got linked up there, as well as all of my personal posts--my current mania is "Supernatural", so you have been warned there. :D

And that's not a weird request at all--in fact, I find it very, very flattering. Hyde and I don't so much use resources as much as we just do a LOT of resourcing. If you're doing fanfic, know the source material backwards and forwards and have it on hand so you can check and make sure you aren't contradicting it. As for real stuff, we never make anything up. We never make up locations or diseases or objects or even dates--we have calendars dating back to the years we right in so we can make sure that the day we set the story was, in fact, a Wednesday. But that could be nitpicky, but that's just how we are. Basically, Google is your friend.

We also tend to use timelines AND outlines, so we don't pull a Meyer and have a character fall in love with another after nine days of minimal interaction.

Finally, the thing we've found that is best when it comes to editing and making sure your writing sounds good is to just read it aloud, as if you were reading it for a play. It's a good way to make sure your dialogue sounds natural, catch repetition and errors, and make sure your flow goes well. It makes sure that the phrasing is right, as well as to make sure that what your characters are saying sounds natural. This is particularly handy when your characters are having a conversation--it makes sure each line leads into the next.

As always, though, writing is so tailored to a specific person, so what helps us might not help you. But I hope that at least is handy, or you find it somewhat useful!

Thank you for asking that!


7 years ago

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