Madame Mervin, Hammer of Sues (das_mervin) wrote,
Madame Mervin, Hammer of Sues

And now, this post.

I got all the bad out earlier in a flocked post. And it was a lot of bad; I didn't even tell all of it. But now I'm going to list the good and try to start off 2015 right.

I didn't make resolutions per se. More like suggestions. Things I really think I should do. I only ever make the same single resolution every year: don't make resolutions. However, these are just little things. Not me determining to do them--just things that might help.

1) Dance more often.

I'm no dancer--not by a long shot--but I like doing it. It makes me feel good and is a little bit of exercise, too. So, I am resolved to dancing more often. I just need to dance, you know? It seems silly, but I'm determined to do a few things this year to make myself happier and, well, that is one of them.

2) Ignore Hitler.

If you don't know or remember, Hitler is what I call the one boss at work that I absolutely despise. I am always guaranteed to have a shitty day when I realize he's on the same shift. Well, I'm gonna try and just...pretend he's not even there and ignore his stupid voice and his stupid suggestions. Move past it, you know? Muttering darkly every time I hear his voice over walkie isn't doing me any favors.

3) Not get distracted by Matt.

Yes, I made that "suggestion" to myself, because yeah, it is to the point that when I see him wandering around, my mind wanders with him. (None of your business where. Pervert.) And it is struck through because I failed at 8:15 a.m. on January 1st when he came to our morning meeting, proceeded to lean against one of the support beams, and posed like a goddamn GQ model. I mean, we're talking he did this.

Fuck. I hate you, you hot son of a bitch.

4) Go for walks at Percy Warner.

Obviously, I can't get started on this one yet, as the weather doesn't currently allow it. However, Percy Warner is a really nice park a few miles out, and I've walked on it twice now and I really liked it. So, when things warm up, I do want to do that. If anything, it will get me out of the house more often. That's the main thing I want. I can't just go to work and then hide in my hole.

5) Try to find more good things about myself.

I have made no secret of it, and nearly everyone who knows me is aware of the fact that I hate myself and think I can't do anything well. No amount of pep-talking will help that, by the way, so don't bother. However, I recently did find something that I think I can do well, and so I...want to try and find things I like about myself. Just little things. First one of the year? I don't claim to be anything special, but the fact that I routinely get people telling me how much I've changed their lives and improved their writing through my reviews must mean I'm doing something right there. So...yeah. There's that. I'm decent at analysis and presenting it in a way that others can accept and learn from it. Go me.

And that's it. Start small, you know? I know better than to make some GRAND AND GLORIOUS LIFE PLAN because that's a huge change and you have to have the right mindset for it and I don't.

I don't want 2015 to be like last year. are some things to try and make it different.
Tags: life in general, public post, random musing

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