And laughed the whole way through.
WARNING: SPOILER ALERT.
So, to begin. The first trailer was for Machete. And you knew it was Rodriguez, because it had lots of guns, lots of explosions and absolutely ridiculous weaponry, and lots of Danny Trejo. I loved it, and I will probably buy it when it comes out on DVD (because they are in fact making that one into a movie). Then we went into the rating of the movie, which made me giggle, too. *frolicking kittens* This movie is rated... *picture of a cougar takes over the screen* MATURE!!!
Then we were launched headfirst into Planet Terror, which was Rodriguez's contribution. Planet Terror was, straight down to the core, a zombie movie. Now, zombie movies are not my thing, because they go for the gross-out factor big time. This one was no exception--and it worked. I was grossed out. There were one or two things in that movie that had me wanting to vomit. They still make me want to vomit. Rodriguez outdid himself with one zombie in particular. However, it more than made up for that with the SHOTGUN LEG. Yes, the shotgun leg. I LOVED it. I have hereby decreed that, if I ever lose a leg, I will have it replaced with a shotgun. Or a minigun, depending on the day. The arm is taken, however--Army of Darkness made sure that my arm would be a chainsaw.
Anyway, distracted--back to review. Things I liked best in this particular movie:
--Bruce Willis the zombie. He meets a most spectacular end, which may only be exceeded by Quentin Tarantino's end (yes, he was in Planet Terror, and I don't know who's idea it was to kill him like...that).
--SHOTGUN LEG. That is all.
--"Mysterious loner" factor. Awesome.
--Pointless, excessive gore.
--The helicoptor killing machine.
--The "shot" gun. Hehe.
--The minibike. I could NOT. STOP. LAUGHING.
And things I didn't care too much for:
--They killed the dog. *sad face*
--The tongue. THAT IS ALL.
And, as you can see, "likes" outnumber "dislikes."
Now, I liked Planet Terror. I liked it a lot. However, it was a zombie movie. And as I said--zombie movies aren't really my thing.
Death Proof, on the other hand, was a SLASHER.
WITH A CAR!!!
Before Death Proof, we had a silly little commercial and three more trailers. We had Werewolf Women of the SS, by Rob Zombie, Don't, by Edgar Wright, and Thanksgiving, by Eli Roth. Again, it was so totally awesome that you could tell who made each movie. WWotSS. Weird costumes, funky music, pale chicks with very long, pale hair, and strobe lights. That's Rob Zombie. Thanksgiving. Very odd, very impossible deaths, vomit, lots of sex, and a death scene that made me cringe and actually go, "Oh, holy Lord!" That would indeed be Eli Roth. My friend just laughed at the death, but I told him he'd think differently if he had a vagina. And I, sadly, cannot comment on the Edgar Wright style, as I've never seen any of his movies. Anywho--awesome trailers. Look out for Eli Roth himself (killed in his trailer), Jason Isaacs, and Nicholas Cage. You can't miss 'em.
And then we go onto the movie itself. You can immediately tell it's Tarantino. The credits roll to funky seventies music. Bingo! We then meet our three dames, who are established as "bitch/pothead/sexpot," "sexpot," and "good girl." Anyone who calls themself a slasher fan knows exactly what's going to happen just from their opening conversation. There are nice, creepy shots of a black car following them, and you never get a good look at who is in it. I approve. Then they hit the destination, and we meet the bad guy.
Stuntman Mike, AKA Kurt Russels.
I loved him. He was fantastic. The nice, silly act just made him all the creepier. So--after he kills a girl he offered a ride with his car (smashs her face against the dashboard), he goes after the other girls. And kills them all in a headon collision.
I say, nice twist. You think "good girl" is going to be the hero. Whoops!
So then we meet the real stars, four ladies. Two are "badass chicks," one is "blooming badass chick," and the other is "obligitory bimbo." Again--if you know slashers, you know that you've officially found the right ladies to root for. Again, we establish their characters and then get tossed into the action. Awesome, extended car chase that did have me on the edge of my seat, hilarious dialogue that had me rolling, and an ending that was rockin'.
So! Things I liked about Death Proof:
--The fact that, during the scene between the four starring ladies, if you look up at the bar, you can, in fact, see Stuntman Mike watching them. They never focus on him. Awesome camera placing.
--The car itself.
--The fact that one of the girls playing a stuntwoman was a stuntwoman, so no one ever stood in for her.
--This has the singlemost realistic reaction to a gunshot I have ever seen. There's no cringe and then go "ow" and then acting manly and sucking it up. No, no, there is screaming, flailing, inability to use that arm at all. Just like what happens when you are shot.
--The return of Nurse Dakota!
--The nachos. And I say this because, after the movie, I had to run home and eat nachos for dinner. Those were very good-looking nachos.
--All of the extended car-chase scenes.
And things I didn't like:
--Just one, big beef. The Quentin Tarantino style. While it is a nice style--long dialogue sessions to establish characterization followed by extensive action--it simply does not work for a nice little package. It caused a bad lull. The amount of character development in Death Proof was almost the exact same amount as in Planet Terror. However, DP's was dumped on us in one big conversation that probably lasted ten to fifteen minutes. And then it happened again with the next set of ladies. Over thirty minutes of dialogue in a grindhouse style movie...doesn't really work. If it had been a stand-alone or any other kind of movie, I'm sure it would've been fine--I mean, everybody loves Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill and they do the same thing. Unfortunately, it just bogged this one down. Maybe it will be better when the DVD comes out and they are both their own movies.
And now, things I liked about the two as a whole:
--The aging. It wasn't overdone, and in some places was quite subtle. I felt like I was in an old movie theater.
--The missing reels. That was the most clever way of editing so they didn't have to cut too much from the movie itself to get that R rating. Oh, here comes a sex scene--oops! Missing reel! Take that, MPAA.
--The reusing of the actors.
And only one big thing I didn't like:
--The setting. It's a grindhouse style movie, set in the present. With all the aging and missing reels and all that that I liked, the time frame jarred badly, them talking about modern things when everything else looks seventies, early eighties.
And that's my review. Overall?
I LOVED THIS MOVIE. IT WILL BE MINE.