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Chapter 6: Blood Type
Well, after one whole month of stalking her, Wardo has officially declared himself in love with Bella. I’m surprised it took him that long, really—I mean, it’s STEPHENIE MEYER! Ahem. I mean, it’s BELLA SWAN!! How could he NOT love her? I mean, honestly.
So, opening up this chapter—just guess what Wardo is doing. That’s right! Stalking Bella! We don’t even get any lead-in to it—nope. He’s just invading others’ heads to stalk her all around the school. He doesn’t get into Mike’s head now though, because it’s just too “offensive”, and he doesn’t look through Jessica’s eyes any more, because “her resentment toward Bella made [him] angry in a way that was not safe for the petty girl”. Isn’t he just a model of chivalry and turn-of-the-century mores, just such a gentleman?
He spies on her, and we have to have a moment to remind us that Bella is OMGCLUMSY—apparently Wardo, so wrapped up in his
At lunch Wardo dashes in and artfully positions himself to wait for Bella, sitting at a new table and all alone, rather than sitting his family. This is apparently of the utmost interest to everybody, and Wardo gets off on it. Rose ignores him, save for a mental insult tossed his way—go her. Wardo thinks some nice condescending thoughts about her, because it’s what he does, and anyway, how dare she not obsess over him like everybody else, and pretty much brushes off the rest of his family and tells them to stay away from Bella. And you have the nerve to say that Mike Newton has a possessive bent towards her? Asshole.
Bella finally comes in; she’s in the company of Jessica, who is “babbling about the upcoming dance”. Wardo observes that Bella isn’t answering, and makes her excuses for her—he says it’s only because Jessica won’t shut up long enough. But, having read Twilight, we all know that Bella is really just ignoring her, because she has no time for plebes who aren’t the Cullens. See what I meant about you not knowing the real Bella, only the one you’ve created in your mind, there, Wardo?
Well, we’ve been spending so much time having to hear how sick Wardo is, I guess SMeyer felt the need to remind us about how pathetic Bella is. She looks up, looks at the Cullens’ table, and when she sees that Wardo isn’t there, she literally just crumples right there in the cafeteria. GROW A SPINE, YOU USELESS CODEPENDENT BINT.
Fortunately, the extreme irritation induced by that is mitigated by the fact that immediately afterwards, we have a pure “Growing up Cullen” moment after that, with Wardo noticing that she’s not eating today and spazzing out about it and fretting over how fragile humans are (which, humor aside, is him just being a racist bastard again and looking down on non-vamps).
Jessica mentions to Bella that Wardo is staring at her (dude—when is he not?), and of course she looks up all eager and desperate and isn’t all sad anymore now that she knows he keeper is here! Goodie! Wardo of course is thrilled with the idea that he holds her happiness in his hands with his very presence, and man, but I just wanted to wallop him with a baseball bat for that.
He’s all smooth and arrogant and beckons and winks, and he creepily tells us that her coming over to see what he wants is another way of her saying yes to him in general. It would have just plain freaked me out, but there was an added bit of disgust in that I knew he was quite right, as Bella obediently scurries over to him. She is, of course, OMGCLUMSY and stumbles twice on nothing as she nears, and the faux-flaw, which had actually been let up on in the later books and thus far here, is now back again in full-force and pissing me off again.
So, first things first when she comes over, Wardo has to sniff her.
He asks her to sit down, and gloats when she does, because he likes to see her doing what he tells her to. They sit there and have the same, stupid, and utterly flat conversation as in Twilight—and I assure you, cheesy as it may be, the dialogue did not improve with age. On the upshot, there really isn’t much, and they really don’t say anything, just like before. Of course, it has to stretch out for about six pages so we can hear all about how Wonderful and Speshul Wardo thinks Bella is.
Wardo is full of mood-swingy PMS goodness even in his own head, going on and on about how she really should just leave, even though he’s the one who asked her here, but it really is dangerous, but he can’t bear to have her away from him, and I just kinda yawned through most of it. Seriously—we’re back to the same cut’n’pasted dialogue from Twilight, only interspersed between sentences with Wardo angsting. It’s all very annoying, but since it’s just been the same thing in the five chapters previous, I’m not quite as angry, just kinda beat down. But Wardo still manages to piss me off, first by calling himself selfish but not changing his behavior an iota, and by still making sure I know what a bigot he is, telling me how disgusted he is with himself for behaving like “such a human”. No—just an asshole.
It’s boring and stupid, and we have to hear how Wardo is all panicky over her possibly figuring out what he is. And at this point, I really have to ask why? Honestly—what’s she going to do? What is anyone going to do? This is never really spelled out. SMeyer is acting like we’re still in Twilight and don’t know about the
But SMeyer doesn’t tell me. All she tells me is the same stupid dialogue from before, and there’s enough of it word-for-word out of Twilight—meaning, every bit of it from Twilight—that it is starting to piss me off again. Bella throws a tantrum, Wardo is an asshole, Bella is hypocritical, Wardo is condescending—man, they’re just like watching Nick and Nora Charles, aren’t they?
I skimmed through most of it, I confess, although I did just love all the places where Wardo is already manipulating her emotions and twisting her words to get his way. It’s great. She asks if they’re friends, and he doesn’t like that, because “it wasn’t enough”. He then throws out there that he wants to tell her he loves her already, and then wonders if that will scare her—IT’S FREAKING SCARING ME, YOU OBSESSIVE ASSHOLE! And he comes out and says that “if [he] were a good person, [he] would stay away from her”. Note that he isn’t staying away from her—you said it, there, Wardo, I didn’t (well, I did, but not right now). We get more emphasis on how
Yeah. We know.
So after snagging the bottle cap from her lemonade as a memento of their Deep and Meaningful Conversation (Gad—not only is he obsessive, but he’s clearly a teenaged girl), Wardo goes out there and listens to his calming
But he gets distracted from his composing by a “wave of mental anguish from outside”. Turns out Mike Newton is there now, and afraid someone is going to pass out, although why that would warrant anguish is beyond me. Oh! Because it’s Bella! Of course—what more reason would he need to be feeling soul-crushing despair than her merest discomfort?
Wardo sees Bella, looking ridiculously ill for just thinking of blood—the good old Sue “anything you can do I can do better” routine, even up to and including fainting—and he promises that if Mike has done the slightest thing to hurt her, that he “would annihilate him”.
Once again—why in God’s name am I supposed to like this creep?! He’s a raging psychopath!
But Bella’s fine, just whiny, so Mike will live to see another day (screw Bella and her “danger magnet”—Mike Newton is the one always in danger of death, and it really is for nothing that is actually his fault—and his greatest danger is from Our Hero, no less). Bella is pathetic, using the occasion to be carried around like a sack of flour by the nearest convenient strong men (a bit at odds with your oh-so-insightful comments about her being brave and strong in the face of a spinal injury there, Wardo? Remember what I said about not knowing Bella beyond the version of her that you’ve created in your mind?).
Wardo is an asshole to Mike (big surprise) and sends him on his way so he can scoop Bella up (and he says that he is actually pleased by the turn of events, by her discomfort and distress, because it gives him an excuse to touch her), and then, despite her pitiful display up there, tells us how strong she is and that she doesn’t like to show weakness. Sorry, Wardo—and SMeyer—she’s a pathetic whinging baggage and that’s all there is too it.
We have to hear about Wardo being a dick to Mike, and about how ironic, doncha think, it is that Bella is ill at the sight (no, the thought) of blood, which was stupid in Twilight and it’s just as stupid here, because irony doesn’t work that way, and then he sweeps into the office to see the nurse. Everyone in the office is so shocked that he’s carrying her for some reason, and there is reference to Mrs. Cope’s imagination running away with her from the scene (and I’m like—what? Maybe she thought that you had *gasp* kissed with your mouths open! *shockhorror*). There is some unintentional sexual and rapetastic imagery with Wardo having to stand far away from Bella because his “body was too excited, to eager, [his] muscles tense and the venom flowing”. It’s always frustrating when SMeyer does that to us, because it could have been potentially good IF SHE HAD THE SLIGHEST CLUE WHAT WAS GOING ON.
But no, sex is a Big No-No before marriage, so we’re supposed to believe that it was hunger only that was doing that to him. Right.
Bella is, of course, a Unique and Special Snowflake for being the one to pass out, and Wardo is condescendingly amused by her plight. Wardo is dismissed by the nurse, and the nurse is promptly dismissed by Wardo as he snottily (and untruthfully) informs her that he’s supposed to stay with Bella. They’re left alone for convenience’s sake and we have flat and uninteresting dialogue in which Bella whines and Wardo is a smug asshole. We are treated to another recounting of
Mike shows up with another fainter, and Bella is back to being the idiot, refusing care so as not to look unattractive for her Man (notice she was perfectly willing to be the shrinking violet when it meant that said Man was going to carry her). Mike is still mad at Wardo, because he has nothing better to think about that Bella at all times.
The other kid is bleeding like a stuck pig—from a fingerprick? I guess Bella’s Papercut of Doom from New Moon was par for the course—and Wardo is not only not driven mad by it, as it was previously implied that he would be (I know consistency is too much to ask from SMeyer, but that doesn’t mean that it still doesn’t make me mad), but takes the time to order Bella out of the office. She is, of course, “bewildered” as usual, but does what she is told like a good little wimmins. Wardo is creepy as hell again, in raptures because as he followed her out “a few inches behind her…her hair brushed [his] hand” (and I have to wonder how that works—was he actually reaching for her, or is her hair down to her waist?), and marvels that she actually did what he told her too (and he totally got off on it). We hear about Bella’s tiny nose (one of the few features she actually doesn’t share with SMeyer—do I detect even more insecurity via correction of perceived flaws in an avatar? Oh, what am I talking about—not in THIS great piece of literature!) then Wardo is OMGSHOCKED that Bella can smell blood, which is crap, as we all know, and Wardo just marvels over how unlike other humans she is, wondering if she is even human at all, because she is just the berries and everyone knows that humans suck. Asshole.
Mike comes back out and is a bit pithy, and Wardo tells us that he’s going to have to be careful, lest he “actually end up killing this obnoxious boy”, which is still NOT COOL, but it’s supposed to be romantic, but NO, SMEYER, IT ISN’T. Mike mentions the upcoming trip to La Push, and Wardo is of course paralyzed with rage at the merest notion of Bella going anywhere with Mike, even in a group as friends, and any sort-of teenage jealousy and angst Wardo might have shown here was totally overshadowed by his URGE TO COMMIT MURDER, and so I still hate him, SMeyer. I’m so glad that he’s your ideal—because believe me, you can have him.
Bella whines about gym, that she doesn’t want to go, and Wardo says she can fix that. He tells her to go lie down and look pathetic—she’s good at that—and of course she complies. He then goes over to the secretary to dazzle her into immediately obedience, and hopes that “Bella was paying attention to this. This was how a human was supposed to respond.”
You know, I’d probably be utterly terrified of him at this point if he didn’t make me SO FREAKING ANGRY. That being said:
So, Wardo does in fact dazzle the secretary into submission—and he suddenly realizes that her reactions to him—the same that EVERY WOMAN has to him FOR HIS ENTIRE LIFE AS A VAMPIRE—are like Bella’s! Le gasp—could it be that she finds him…hot? He totally gets off on that idea. He dazzles the secretary some more, and now is getting off on her reaction, too, and “persuades” her to excuse Bella for the rest of the day, and himself as well so he can take her home. Because he is one of the Right White Sparkly Perfect Cullens, he totally gets away with this.
Bella goes outside to go home, and Wardo follows her (chuckling creepily to himself and no doubt rubbing his hands in glee at the idea that Bella would think he’s hot). We have a ridiculous bit of Bella being a Unique and Special Snowflake (with a relatively subtle bit of Mormon-pushing), followed by a particularly disgusting moment of fappage on SMeyer’s part in the form of Wardo praising her SI in a fashion that could come right out of the most toxic Mary Sue fic you could hope for.
I watched as she lifted her face to the light rain with her eyes closed, a slight smile on her lips. What was she thinking? Something about this action seemed off, and I quickly realized why the posture seemed unfamiliar to me. Normal human girls wouldn’t raise their faces to the drizzle that way; normal human girls usually wore makeup, even here in this wet place.
Bella never wore makeup, nor should she. The cosmetics industry made billions of dollars a year from women who were trying to attain skin like hers.
MY GOD. Oh, yes a simple action such as enjoying the rain (which is, incidentally, totally out of character for Bella, who has done nothing but complain about the rain from the get-go) is worthy of deep analysis, because it makes her so unique and special, because most people wouldn’t look into the rain so as not to smear their nasty, non-Mormon makeup (not to, you know, NOT GET WET), so Bella is obviously Unique and Special and all that, not to mention the fact that her complexion is FLAWLESS.
And that’s all I’m going to say on that, because any more will render me quite incoherent. Moving on.
So, Wardo is creepily thinking of ways that he can draw out his time with Bella as long as possible. She wants to know if he’s coming to Mike’s little shindig, even though he was clearly not invited and he knows it, but he can’t, because it’s La Push, and he says “Damn” when he finds out, Wardo, you naughty boy! Into the corner for a time out this instant, young man.
He jokes about not going so as not to upset Mike, all the while imagining killing Mike and totally getting a hard-on for it, and then Bella is rude and nasty about Mike, which Wardo also gets a hard-on for, and then we have what was perhaps one of the scariest moments in the book thus far for me.
And then she started to walk away from me.
Without thinking about my action, I reached out and caught her by the back of her rain jacket. She jerked to a stop.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
HELP!!!!!!! POLICE!!!!!!! RAPE!!!!!!!
NO. NO NO NO. Up to now, I could almost—almost—write off all of his creepy and sociopathic tendencies as due to crappy writing and a lack of characterization. But that right there? NO. Even his window-crawling thing was “merely” stalking—that right there is abuse. The rest of his sickness has been so far over the top that it is nearly ridiculous and is more infuriating than anything else, but that is scary—because that is FAR TOO REAL. That is physical coercion to force her into doing what he wants—and I don’t know about you, but can just hear the tone us used when he demanded to know where she was going.
YOUR DREAM MAN IS A CONTROLLING, ABUSIVE STALKER, SMEYER. END OF STORY.
There is so much wrong with that that I don’t even want to think about it anymore, I just want to forget I ever saw it. But I can’t—because SMeyer won’t let me! Oh, and it just keeps getting better! Wardo tells us that he is now determined to take her home, and his reasons why stumble over themselves and come across as utterly and desperately creepy—all he needs to do now is tell us that he didn’t mean to hit her.
Then he PHYSICALLY DRAGS HER TO HIS CAR, and Bella actually has to yell at him to let her go and twist out of his grip because he won’t, and she almost falls, and it’s supposed to be because she’s OMGCLUMSY but oh, no—sorry, Wardo, that was your fault for not letting her go the minute she said to, and frankly, to me it just felt like he threw her down for daring to disobey. Rose Potter, anyone?
Wardo gets in the car, tells us that he is “[not] capable of letting her go”, and then orders Bella to get it. And when she doesn’t comply immediately, Wardo tells her that if she runs (RUN, BELLA, RUN), that “[he’ll] just drag her back”.
I AM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW. I AM TOO OUTRAGED TO EVEN GET UP IN ARMS OVER THE FACT THAT BELLA IS “CHAGRINNED” TO REALIZE THAT HE IS QUITE SERIOUS, AND THEN SHE JUST DOES AS SHE IS TOLD.
No, Bella—Wardo is not simply “pushy”. HE’S A VIOLENT, CONTROLLING, AND ABUSIVE ASSHOLE. I may hate Bella, but NO WOMAN DESERVES THIS.
But SMeyer apparently WANTS this.
Bella is angry (AND RIGHTFULLY SO), but not nearly as angry as she should be, merely “piqued”, and is really more embarrassed about this, and I wanted to tear my hair out when, not two seconds later, she is all happy smiles over the fact that Wardo was listening to Debussy. That’s right—that’s where she recognizes “Clair de Lune”, and Wardo is shocked and surprised, because nobody listens to classical music anymore, so Bella is obviously a Unique and Special Snowflake, and OMG, they have something in common, they are both familiar with one song, they are clearly DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER. Even though he’s back to referring to her as “the girl”, as an object again.
Oh, but wait—isn’t Bella supposed to smell like bacon or something? Yeah, Wardo and SMeyer apparently forgot that too, so now we have to hear about it again, but it’s barely worth mentioning and it in no way convinces me that Wardo is dangerous—well, I take that back. He is CLEARLY a danger to society, but not the way that SMeyer intended. Wardo starts pumping her for details on herself, and she describes her parents again. Wardo is only listening so that he can use said detail to praise Bella, talking about how gorgeous and brave and whatever else she is, and SMeyer ham-handedly tells me through Wardo all about Bella, spelling out her character traits and whatnot, which are totally contradictory to what we actually see in canon. You know, SMeyer, if you could write at all, you wouldn’t have to hold my hand (don’t touch me) and walk me though your outlined character points one by one—I would be able to see them for myself in the text. But since you can’t, I don’t. Bella is not a mature and responsible young lady who is older and wiser that her years, considers her mother her best friend, and is more of the parent in their relationship. She is, in fact, a whiny, selfish, bitchy brat with an entitlement complex the size of Greenland and who treats both her parents with the utmost contempt (when she can be arsed to think about them at all).
Seriously, guys—this is really, really bad with the telling rather than showing. Probably the worst one of her stories yet. Right down to the point of any time Bella is sad in Twilight, rather than Wardo showing us that she’s sad by describing that she looks downcast, her face is sullen, that she frowning, that her posture is slumped, anything that he could observe to see and show that she was sad—he simply out-and-out tells us that “she looked sad”.
I really, really hate that. And he’s doing it right now in this conversation as we speak.
Anyway, after the requisite Forks-bashing, Renee’s marriage to Phil comes up in the conversation, and in true SMeyer protagonist fashion, Wardo turns the conversation around to himself. Ostensibly it’s about Bella again, but it’s so not—he is seriously pushing to know what her parents would do if he was her boyfriend (despite the fact that she really has displayed no outward interest in him at all). And it’s once again CREEPY AS HELL, and not just because of what he did previously—no, now that he’s gotten the idea that she might think he’s hot, her every reaction he’s analyzing, to know if it’s “fear…or attraction?” And if that’s not a justification from the Abusive Boyfriend Handbook, I don’t know what is. I mean, look at the way she’s dressed—she clearly wants it.
We get a brief discussion of Wardo’s past, but he doesn’t tell her much so he won’t have to lie to her—the usual, par-for-the-course inequality that defines this relationship. Wardo gets her to his house and is all dejected that “[his] time with her was up”. Well, it’s supposed to sound dejected, but it’s really just creepy—as it also is when she doesn’t move immediately and he instantly takes that to mean that “she didn’t want [their] time to be up either. [He] liked that very, very much.” Isn’t it amazing how even relatively innocent remarks that could be cute coming from a teenaged boy with a crush suddenly take on whole new and sinister meanings when coming from this asshole?
Wardo bids her goodbye when he drops her off at her house, since he won’t be on the trip. If it hadn’t been to La Push, he’d have totally cancelled his plans to go hunting with Emmett, which would have pissed him off—I’d like to think that Emmett would have totally kicked his ass for it, or at least jumped him in the parking lot and torn the stereo out of his car (I mean, dude, he so would have—the whole point of the hunting trip is because it’s grizzly season, and Emmett is Awesome and wants to wrestle him a bear). So Wardo supposes that it will be better that he not go, so he won’t “reveal how obsessive [he] was turning”.
Oh, Wardo, honey—don’t worry. You’ve revealed it already. And he keeps revealing it, too—now he “[feels] almost agonized at the thought of saying even a temporary goodbye”.
Now, see, this is what I’m talking about when I fuss about the C&P’d stuff. No—I don’t necessarily always mind when spoken dialogue and stuff is the very same when told from two different POVs—that is only logical. I do think it should be mixed up a little, with some skimmed from one POV and not in others, that sort of thing in the name of good style and making old material seem new, but ultimately the spoken words would be the same. What I do mind is when everything seems C&P’d. Like here, when SMeyer belabors some stupid point that we don’t care about to death from Bella—and then here, we have almost the exact same thing from Wardo. At one point in Twilight, Bella is thinking that she should stay away from Wardo, but is “gripped by a sudden agony of despair” at the very idea. No, having them think the exact same thing in the exact same tone and the exact same stiff and stilted writing doesn’t seem to make them alike or show parallels—because it just feels lazy—like she C&P’d not just the dialogue, but the entire book, and just rearranged it so she could claim that it was from Wardo’s POV. And it feels insultingly ham-fisted—that SMeyer beat us to death with one point in one book, but now feels the need to do it again here.
Only now it’s worse, because with Bella, it was showing her being a pathetic, co-dependent baggage. But with Wardo, it’s showing him being a sexist and condescending asshole. Because, of course, the reason he doesn’t want to leave Bella is because “she was just so soft and vulnerable”. I mean, she’s both human and female—obviously completely breakable and utterly incapable of taking care of herself. That’s why it’s so reasonable for Wardo to think it “foolhardy to let her out of [his] sight”. Because she might get hurt without a Big Strong Man there to protect her—not because he’s a stalking freak, or anything.
But, since he can’t follow her for her own safety out to La Push, he settles for just being a condescending asshole, and she’s “bewildered” again as he orders her not to fall in the ocean, because she’s a helpless stupid female who can’t take two steps without hurting herself (and the worst part about it all is that in her case, it’s quite true).
Wardo then angstfully thinks to himself, “Run, bella, run. I love you too much, for your good or mine.” Then I thought angrily to myself, “Yes, RUN, no, you don’t love her at all, you sick freak, no your obsession is not good for her, and yes, it’s very telling that you are still thinking of yourself in the midst of your supposed great love, see point #2.”
Bella gets pissy about his remark—I was mad, too, but not for the reasons she was, but more for the reasons she should be, because he’s a controlling martinet who has no right to tell her what to do—and jumps out of the car and stomps off, slamming the door behind her in a nice mature tantrum.
And Wardo is a condescending asshole AGAIN, amused by her anger, because she’s “just like an angry kitten that believes it a tiger”.
And then Wardo drives off, and is totally pleased with himself, because as he kidnapped her and forcefully took her home, he summarily dictated that Alice will drive Bella’s truck back for her, and so he picked her pocket for her car key as she left.
And with that, we’re (thankfully) through for this installment. And with that, I’m half done with Midnight Sun!
…that means I have this much more still to go…
I’ll see you all next time with Chapter 7: Melody!
( Chapter 7 - Melody )