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She was a good girl. Even-tempered, affectionate, beautiful, and enjoyed waking up everyone at five in the morning screaming her head off for her daily fish oil (a.k.a. hairball remedy).

PJ isn't taking it well. That's probably the worst part. He keeps looking for her.
Very bad news.

Buzz--the black one. Her kidneys are shutting down.

I can't take this.

Fuck this year.

Moving forward.

Family visited, found out I might have to move back to Oklahoma at the end of the year, got pissed off at my work place to the point that whether I move or not, I'm quitting, and have been reliving my childhood.

We're gonna focus on that last one.

I have been watching cartoons and playing video games I enjoyed as a kid. Main game I've been focusing on is Blake Stone: Aliens of Gold, and I found out that it actually might've been one of the big ones. Wolfenstein 3D was the first, of course, the one that changed everything and basically made hardcore gaming. Blake Stone got released after that one did, which was all fine and dandy. It introduced a lot of new stuff--new guns, new settings, turned up the gore, introduced more monsters, had better graphics....it was a fine game. I love it.

But one month after Blake Stone hit the gaming world....it was promptly Doomed. See what I did there. Yeah--the one and only Doom got released shortly after, which further revolutionized gaming and made history because Doom is Doom. It's just Doom. You know. Doom. So Blake Stone got forgotten. But it's an awesome game! I played it a lot. But looking at these, I'm mostly reflecting on how I am now old enough to say I witnessed the evolution of gaming itself. I can now look at younger people at work and go, "Your modern games don't have shit on the old ones." 'Cause they don't, so there. *shakes cane* But the main point is I just look back and can't believe that I was there for it. I played Wolfenstein 3D when it first came out! I remember playing it with Hyde. I remember playing all kinds of seriously old games. We were AWESOME at Captain Comic and Novastorm. We were so kickass at Novastorm that we knew exactly when to die to maximize our points and upgrades. We never died unless we wanted to. Same with Prince of Persia. (Okay, we weren't as good at that one and never beat it--it or the sequel. Shut up.) It's just fun--it's like someone being old enough to talk about how cars evolved, or how television evolved. Makes me feel old, even though I'm not.

As for cartoons, been rewatching "Rocko's Modern Life" and "Eek! Stravaganza". Oh, my God, I forgot how dirty Rocko was. Mostly because I watched it when I was a kid--and that was just it. People often credit "Ren and Stimpy" for bringing adult humor into cartoons, but that one was never intended for kids. "Ren and Stimpy" aired at night, clearly aimed for adults. Kids are in bed, adults can enjoy some gross-out and perverse humor from two disgusting animals. I also consider it pretty damn low-brow. Rocko, on the other hand, was clearly meant for kids. It aired after school--I watched it all the time. I loved that show! And, well...it had this. Between that and "Animaniacs", I think we're all set.

Ah well. Reminiscing.
That's it. It's over.

I am trying to focus on the one "good" thing, that being that the fight, struggle, and pain for her are over. I don't want to let unhappiness and cynicism get to me. Part of me wants to scream in anger, demanding to know what the whole point of the fight was, then. She went through chemo, double mastectomies, all kinds of treatments to try and stop it, and it all just led to this. Same fucking thing that would've happened if she'd done nothing.

I refuse to let my mind go there, because there was a point. I know what that point was, and to ignore it would be an insult to Cathy. I'm not gonna do that. There was a point.

She didn't just fall over and wait for death. She fought and clawed and suffered and earned those extra months that let her finally get married to my uncle and visit Buena Vista one more time.


I think one of my coworkers is hitting on me. Huh. That's weird. No idea why he would feel inclined to do so; I work with a plethora of very attractive ladies. Maybe I'm imagining things--prolly. Either way, he is nice to look at, so I won't object if it's the truth.

Anyway, long last, I am updating. Felt I should, considering the last thing my LJ has been sitting on was THAT bit of unpleasantness. I didn't get in to see my psych early, but I did talk it over with her when I saw her; she made me feel a lot better about what happened, because she pointed out that I didn't go into a tailspin and recovered myself and worked through it. The fact that I did put a smile on my face and soldier through it instead of immediately running from work or trying to get out of things was a good sign, she said. I think I agree. I'm hoping that after my visit next week, I can dial back to once every two months.

I went on vacation! After a year and a half, I FINALLY went back to Oklahoma! YES! I saw my BABY. Oh, my little snuggles--how I missed him. PJ missed me, too. He sat on me so much--and there was a ton of whining. We took them all to the vet, too, as Hyde and I pointed out that Marten was obviously in a lot of pain--her arthritis has gradually been getting worse, but I think it's been so gradual that mom and dad didn't notice--after a year and a half, though, Hyde and I DID notice, and once she got a steroid shot, she was moving so much better. Buzz has lost three pounds! She's so flabby now--looks like she's wearing sails. She's got a long way to go, but she is doing better. Good girl!

Man, being home reminded me how much I miss it. I enjoy Nashville, don't get me wrong (save for the roads and the fact that nobody in this damn city knows how to ACCELERATE THROUGH THE TURN), but I am an Okie at heart and always will be. I want my big flat expanses and stubby trees and grid roads. No matter where I go in my life, I know I'm eventually gonna circle right back and settle permanently in Oklahoma. It's just a fact. I love it too much to leave it forever.

On the bright side, Mom, my aunt, and Peep are gonna come visit us in June. That's gonna be nice--Peep loves coming out here and sitting on our porch. Another upside, we always treat him to a steak dinner, which is ALWAYS something to look forward to. Mmm...

I'm gradually getting back into my sporky self. I'm sure everyone who reads this and is a member of the comm knows that there was a nasty bit of business a couple of months ago, and that soured me something fierce. But I think I'll be working on my 15 Reasons tomorrow; people have been messaging me about it, wondering when the BD recap is gonna start up again and finish. Well, hopefully soon.

Other than that, I'm mellow. Enjoyed my vacation, feeling a lot better about things, and am now counting down the days until June.

'Nother update on my Aunt Cathy.

It's possible that my aunt's breast cancer has metastasized. If that's the case, it means it's Stage IV, and...I know what happens when it's Stage IV.

However, there's the possibility that the spot they found isn't related, and if it isn't, it means she has a very good prognosis.

So please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. We find out this week which one it's going to be.

My Dragons

Mrs. Hyde and I are dragon owners at Dragon Cave. Help our dragons hatch, grow, and stay alive by clicking on them. Thank you!

Das MervinMrs. Hyde

*remaining calm*

Okay. So, what happened in tonight's SPN episode means one of two things.

Spoilers abound.Collapse )


Hey, look at that! I'm back. Firstly, I'm sorry if I worried anyone with the Christmas post. I'm better, fine, and everything worked out very well. In fact, I'm more hopeful and happy than I have been in a long time. We are all good.

HOWEVER. The title of this post obviously indicates that I am NOT fucking happy. The reason I am not fucking happy is because I'M BEING FUCKING PLAGIARIZED.


Oh, it's not exact. She's not copy-pasting it or anything. But that is CLEARLY my recap. She hits the same points I do, she often paraphrases my EXACT COMMENTARY, just trimming it down and rewording it, but she does in my exact style. Bolded small quotes, italics for larger paragraphs. And the large paragraph she quotes are pretty much the exact same large paragraphs I quote. Her counts are similar--she has one tallying bad subtle foreshadowing, has one that is basically the Airhead and Rose Potter counts, she's just comparing it to a different badfic, she's counting the time jumps as a separate count, something I give Airhead points for and often harp on about, and even rips my count off completely by counting the Crooked Smile of Doom. She also has a side project going on in the recap called "Twihard Stupidity", matching my own "Twihard Idiocy". She is even ripping off Mrs. Hyde, because she doesn't call him Edward--she calls him Wardo.


You have NO idea how pissed off I am right now. I have spent FIVE FUCKING YEARS working on that. I have poured so much energy and thought and EVERYTHING into those recaps, I am proud of them, and she is stealing them and getting all kinds of reviews and favorites for it. Has been since October of last year.

Believe me, Miss Follow Those Owls, you are NOT going to get away with this. You are NOT going to continue with your "original" review. THOSE. ARE. MINE.

ETA: *Aro-like cackle* Oh, she KNOWS, guys. She knows. An anonymous review showed up citing her for plagiarism and it vanished within five minutes. She bahleeted that baby IMMEDIATELY. But you can't delete signed reviews! *glee* Yeah, that's right, mine's gonna SIT THERE, as are any other signed reviews that bring up plagiarism. *rubs hands together* I gotcha now, bitch.

Christmas Tradition~

Come on, everyone. I do it every year; you should know the lyrics by now. Sing it with me...

Merry Christmas, my flist. Hugs and cookies for all.


SJ - Das Sporking
Madame Mervin, Hammer of Sues
The Hammer of the Sues

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