Me: We appear to be flying through time again—now we’re in early February. Holly opens up the chapter with complaining about Quididitch practice—she who shouldn’t be on the team in the first place. *scowls* Wait—how did she even get a broomstick? That was never even addressed! This thing is full of plot holes!
Flint: We’re sure to win! But remember, Snape is referring; he’ll be hard on us, makes us play spectacularly if we want to win.
Me: Okay, two things. One—what, exactly, is Snape referring to? Two—Snape awarded penalties to Hufflepuff for no reason just so Gryffindor would lose. He’s not going to be hard on his own team, because he’s an incredibly biased man. Already you’re making him out to be nicer than he really is—already you’re changing his personality. Dammit. That makes me rather angry, really. Snape is a petty, petty man. And this author is changing that.
Holly: Why’s he refereeing?
Flint: Who knows. Let’s break.
Holly: *informs her friends of Snape’s plans*
Theo: I’ll bet this is because of last match. I’m Slytherin, so I can figure things out instantly.
Gavin: *has his eyes glaze over* Maybe it’s because of Flamel.
Me: Why does Gavin have to look like an idiot to have a revelation?
Autumn: But what does that have to do with harming Holly?
Me: Nothing. The author’s just read ahead, you see.
Theo: Is it time to tell the Gryffindors yet all about our discoveries?
Blaise: Yep. They’re there to be used, so let’s get their help.
Me: And informing them about Flamel is both long and drawn out as well as short and truncated—I’m not sure how the author managed, but she sure did. So I’m going to snip the whole thing, and give you the details here. Hermione and Ron think Snape is the one involved, which makes no sense, because Holly and her precious Slytherins didn’t tell them jackshit about anything, so they wouldn’t know anything about the plot. Other than that, it’s very boring and irritating. Then canon takes over for when Holly turns over her chocolate frog card and finds Flamel again, and Hermione finds the book and they discover that this is all about the Sorcerer’s Stone—or, as this is the author attempting to be British, the Philosopher’s Stone. And once Holly uses Hermione to get the information she needs, she quickly abandons the Gryffindors and goes back to the Slytherins, because they are the ones that really matter, after all. And that’s pretty much that—we suffer another time jump after that. So I can pick back up with the scripting—however, it gets pretty canon-heavy, so there will be more snipping.
Holly: We win our Quidditch match 210 to 0, because we are awesome. Slytherins rule, you see.
Canon: *Snape and Quirrell’s conversation is squashed into a single sentence—as usual*
Holly: Oh no, new problem! Hagrid has a dragon!
Canon: *is summed up into about two pages worth of worrying over the dragon and getting rid of it before the author moves onto bigger and better things*
Holly: Naturally, once we get rid of the dragon, I remember to wear the Invisibility Cloak back down. Because I’m awesome, you see. But Draco has been so odd, lately—he knows about the dragon, but he didn’t tell! I use my mental powers for no reason whatsoever other than to mention them. Oh, look—it’s Draco.
Draco: I totally didn’t tell—I could’ve, but I didn’t.
Holly: And it means so much to me.
Potentially Sappy Moment: *is potentially sappy*
Holly: *gets into bed*
Me: Time for another prophetic dream. This one’s pretty long, though, so I’m scripting it, then we have a spork. So, the show must go on. Forward!
Holly: Oh, the dream is just like before with the unicorns and Firenze saving me!
Firenze: Yo, what up, bitch? I call you the Seeker of Minds, because you obviously don’t have one yourself. Anyway, I’m a Seer, and that’s why we can talk in the dreamworld.
Me: That makes no sense.
Firenze: Anyway, the reason we’re talking is because you have some kind of bond with another Seer and it’s allowing you to contact me. You’re tapping into someone else’s abilities.
Me: So, she’s a ripoff of Rogue from X-Men?
Firenze: Now allow me to go on and on about your abilities, blah blah blah, far too young to be managing this, never felt a connection like this, you’re made of awesome and you know it, cool beans.
Holly: I’m waking up! Bye, Firenze! Who on earth could I have a connection to? Wait, I know who it is, it surely has to be him! *goes downstairs and waits for Blaise*
Me: Time for a sporking.
“I have something very important to tell you,” she whispered without preamble to Blaise as she came up to him. “Follow me,” she ordered, leading him further into the dorms.
That’s just scary. And the dorms consist of a Common Room and bedrooms. There are no other rooms.
“What was it you wanted to tell me?” he asked as soon as they were locked inside an unused study room.
That means no study rooms. You need to study, you do so in the library.
Holly decided that the direct approach would be best. “I’m a telepath.”
Right. And just how to do you know the name of your ability, I ask you? How do you even know it’s an unusual ability? I’ve discussed that before, I know for sure.
Blaise blinked… once… twice… three times. He stared at her in a sort of quiet shock.
The girl looked back nervously.
Stop writing like that!!! It’s irritating!!!
Finally, he overcame his surprise. “Er… right. I wasn’t really expecting you to say that.
(Blaise): I thought you were going to say you like pie.
Thanks for trusting me enough to tell me, by the way.”
“You aren’t mad?” she queried hopefully.
You see, we’re all mad here…
“Mad? Why would I be mad?”
I think you’re mad—you keep petting people who don’t like to be petted.
Blaise gaped at her before it finally dawned on him.
Took you long enough.
“How much do you actually know about telepathy?”
Holly shifted anxiously. “Just that I am one and that I have had to learn to control it.”
And you’ve done it all by yourself, yeah, yeah. I need to run you through the litmus test.
Blaise rubbed his hand over his face. “That explains it.” At his friend’s inquiring look, he explained, “You probably think that it is a curse or a freaky thing, but it isn’t.
(Blaise): It means you’re a Mary Sue, you see, and sporkers are going to come for you any minute now.
It’s an ability, some would say a gift, but it is neither good nor bad.
Believe me—it’s bad.
And while it isn’t common, it isn’t unheard of either. I can actually name two well-known telepaths off the top of my head.”
Haven’t you ever heard of Scanners?
She perked up, fighting a smile. “Really? Who?”
And upon finding out that her ability makes people famous, she perks right up. Don’t you have enough fame already, Holly?
This was going so much better than she had imagined.
Blaise smirked and took her hand in his.
Okay, Blaise, you really need to stop doing that. It’s getting on my nerves. Well, it’s getting on my single nerve I have left after dealing with this fic.
“Circe and Siobhan Slytherin, wife of Salazar Slytherin.
Because we have to make sure the Slytherins are awesome.
Salazar himself was an empath.”
GAH!!! IT’S AIRHEAD!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!
Holly actually heaved a sigh of relief. “So it doesn’t bother you?”
It bothers me. Don’t see you taking me into consideration.
“Not in the least. Most pure-bloods raise their children to appreciate such things,” he replied.
Because purebloods are the best, after all.
“So no, I’m not bothered by it. Though, judging by your reaction, I do assume that you want me to keep it quiet.”
Reaction to what? I haven’t seen any reaction. She perked up at the thought of being famous, but that’s it.
“Please do,” the girl said faintly, finally smiling. “I want to tell the others, just not yet. I wanted you to know first.”
Why? He pets you at every opportunity and doesn’t care that you’re uncomfortable with it. Why the hell would this make you happy?
Blaise grinned. “Really, and why is that?” he asked coyly.
Oh, he’s being creepy again.
She shifted in her seat. “You are my best friend, and I trust you. Well, and…” she trailed off.
“And?” he prompted.
Holly hesitated before launching into an explanation of the dreams she had been having about the shade, the forest, and the centaur.
Stop saying “shade,” it reminds me of Eragon and that’s never a good thing.
She mentioned what the dream-Firenze had said, adding in her own opinion that he was telling the truth. She teetered on
saying the last bit, but she mentioned her hypothesis that Blaise was the Seer causing the dreams.
She’s just giving everybody super powers, isn’t she?
“You think I am a Seer?” the boy questioned, wide-eyed. He exhaled slowly.
(Blaise): That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
“Well, I am sorry to disappoint you, my friend, but I’m not a Seer. I don’t even a have smidgen of talent in that area.”
Eleven year olds do not TALK like this.
“You aren’t,” she repeated dejectedly. “Well, who else could it be? I don’t have that sort of connection with anyone else.”
Blaise smiled at her round-about compliment. Even if it was nothing but the truth, it was still nice to know she felt they were that close.
Excuse me while I go gag.
“Wait,” Holly asked after a minute, “how do you know that you aren’t a Seer? You could be and never know it?”
Blaise looked at her with sympathy, knowing that she was probably still agitated over her dream.
Would you please stick to one POV?
“I was tested when I was younger,” he answered simply.
Holly blinked. “Tested?”
Eeeee…again, this fic takes a turn for the creepy. I wish it would stop that.
“Yes, all pure-blood families test their children for certain magical gifts like Seer abilities, telepathy, and the like,” he responded slowly, and at her frown, Blaise added,
They catch kids with non-canonical abilities, they quickly put them down for fear that a Sue or Stu might’ve been born.
“Well, as you undoubtedly know, people with these powers need to be trained so that they can control their gifts. Sometimes, those who are untrained can be driven mad.” He sighed at her wounded expression.
Or sometimes they can go pure arrogant on somebody like this little bint.
“But then, why didn’t they know about my abilities? I had to teach myself. And believe me, it wasn’t at all easy,” she whispered, looking as though she wanted to cry.
Whiny little bitch. I want to kill her.
Blaise reached out a hand to pat her; she recoiled slightly but allowed his hand to remain covering her own.
STOP. TALKING. ABOUT IT. I MEAN IT. JUST STOP.
“Most children aren’t tested until they are about five. The tests
—would save a lot of lives if people would get them done.
require their active participation, so they have to be old enough to understand what to do.”
She breathed out softly. “So basically, my parents died before I was old enough, and no one else thought to come and check me for such things.”
(Holly): Please allow me to angst for a few minutes now, and pity me while I do it—be sure to touch me some more so I can flinch and shy away and draw even more attention to my angsty little self.
The two sat in silence for a few moments, neither knowing what to say.
I know what to say—this is all crap. How come she’s a telepath and Harry never was? How come you keep giving her abilities that aren’t canon? Don’t you dare tell me it’s because it’s AU. AUs do not work that way! /Morbo
Finally, Holly spoke again. “Why isn’t there some form of generalised testing then? Not all families know to test their children, and the Muggles wouldn’t even be able to.”
Maybe because half the time, they don’t know they’re magic until they receive their letters, and this testing doesn’t exist in the first place, because it would be too time consuming to test every single magical person in existence?
Blaise shrugged. “For some reason, the Ministry refuses to do generalised testing, so anyone who wasn’t born into a pure-blood family or whose parents never got around to testing them won’t know,” he answered, exhaling loudly.
So how did Holly know? I think people would notice something was up, you know.
“I guess it goes back to the prejudice against Muggleborns.
(Blaise): That we Slytherins totally don’t have. No Slytherin has that prejudice, you see, because we are that awesome. It’s all somebody else’s fault. I’m not sure who’s, but it’s certainly not ours.
The Ministry doesn’t think that anyone with Muggle blood would be blessed with gifts like those. Really stupid considering that the talents can manifest in anyone magical, regardless of purity of blood.”
Yes, it’s all the Ministry’s fault. They’re the prejudiced ones, not the Slytherins! Never mind that most of the prejudiced ones happen to be Slytherin as well…
The girl scowled fiercely. “Wouldn’t they realise that? There has to be some record of half-bloods or Muggleborns with such abilities,” she commented heatedly.
*yawns* Are they done yet? This is exceptionally boring, them talking all about her awesome noncanonical ability.
“Oh, trust me, there are. But the Ministry refuses to treat those as the rule and not the exception.”
Her scowl deepened. “That’s just idiotic.
I concur—this is idiotic.
They are too blind to see the truth,” she bit out, crossing her arms across her chest. “Still, why don’t the teachers just test the students anyway?
What do you think things like Divination are for?!
Regardless of what the Ministry views are. They could check everyone when they arrive at Hogwarts. Some of the talents might have manifested by then, like mine did, but they could still find out for the others.”
Eleven year olds don’t talk this way, you know.
“You know that. I know that. By Circe,
Stop saying that, would you?! Yes, we get it, you’re a wizard, but you don’t need to say “By Circe” every five seconds!
any fool could see that, but the Ministry refuses to do anything, and they won’t allow anyone else to do anything either,” Blaise responded, shaking his head.
Why, exactly, other than the fact that they are TEH EBOL?
“I heard that Dumbledore actually wanted to implement the program when he became deputy headmaster, but the Minister refused. Every few years, Dumbledore will bring it back up, but the Ministry is still refusing.”
The Ministry was pretty ineffective in the books, but I really hate it when people make them like this. Making them the cause of some random angst for your character is not what they should be used for.
“You know what it sounds like to me?” Holly questioned.
Blaise shook his head.
—so hard it rolled off of his shoulders and into the fire.
“Well, it sounds like the Ministry is purposely trying to deny the existence of telepaths and Seers and whatever else people are.”
Okay, so they test them for the abilities so they can be properly trained, but are denying their existence? Make up your mind. And the Ministry does not try to deny the existence of Seers—for heaven’s sake, they have an entire wing of the Department of Mysteries devoted to Prophecies!
“It does sound like that,” he allowed. “After all, the two telepaths I mentioned earlier were from several centuries ago.
Several? Dear, they are from many centuries ago.
I can’t think of anyone from recent memory with that kind of ability… well, other than you.”
Yes, and we’re going to keep going on about it, too.
“Maybe they, the Ministry, are afraid. Maybe they don’t want people to know what they are… to be trained in that area,” Holly put in suddenly.
So why do they test people for the abilities?! PLOT HOLE!!!
Blaise looked at her strangely. “Maybe.”
The two sat in troubled silence after that statement. Both thinking over what they had discussed.
With sentence fragments.
After a time, they left the study room, still considering the implications of the girl’s confession and the Ministry’s refusal to test their citizens for certain abilities.
How dramatic. I’m so bored right now.
AN: I know that the plot has sped up quite a bit, but I want to get on with it.
Yes, you don’t have time for things like a plot, or exposition. You just want to get on with it!
I feel that I have adequately covered first year, so I am wrapping it up in the next chapter.
I feel you suck, personally.
I want to move on more quickly than I have been doing. Second year is when the story really starts to deviate from canon, and I just can’t wait any longer.
Yes, you can’t wait to really start raping canon! Whee!!! *kills self*