Madame Mervin, Hammer of Sues (das_mervin) wrote,
Madame Mervin, Hammer of Sues
das_mervin

Child of Grace

Chapter six! More Slytherin apologist behavior! Whoopie!!! See icon for further thoughts on this chapter.

*Sorry about the LJ cut--for some reason, I couldn't get it right three times in a row.



Chapter Six: Halloween Havoc

Me: The chapter is called “Halloween Havoc,” but wait until you see the actual havoc.

Dumbledore: She’s a Slytherin! How could this have happened? After all, I sent Hagrid and Molly and Ron all to her side to make sure that wouldn’t happen.

Me: Ah, yes, Hagrid, the great mastermind and schemer. And yet I only saw one thing about anti-Slytherin, and that was from Hagrid. Otherwise, there was absolutely no pro-Gryffindor, anti-Slytherin propaganda from anyone. And have I said how much I hate it when people make Dumbledore out to be this manipulative? No, he did not send the Weasleys out to taint Harry’s delicate little brain. He didn’t think Gryffindor would be the only House that Harry would succeed in. The only reason Harry became anti-Slytherin was because Slytherins acted like general bitches to him and people he considered his friends.

Dumbledore: I even yelled at the Sorting Hat for putting her in Slytherin. Oh, what am I do to, besides randomly talk to Fawkes about all this? I’ll talk about the Greater Good, since people love to vilify me now that I turned out to be an actual human being and have my own flaws in Book VII. I’m just worried she’ll wind up like Tom Riddle. Oh, how I loved that boy like a son.

Me: Uh, he did?

Dumbledore: How I tried to save him, and help him, and I devoted my life to, who never knew the depths of my feelings towards him! *starts bawling*

Me: Hey, hey, hey! Hold up, here! Just what the hell are you implying?! Dumbledore was gay for Grindelwald, thank you very much!

Fawkes: We just have to make sure she doesn’t turn out like Tom, won’t we!

Me: …since when can Fawkes talk? Okay, this has officially taken a turn for the stupid.

Fawkes: I sense great potential in her!

Dumbledore: Yeah, but you said the same thing about Tom Riddle, you dope.

Fawkes: I did, and I stand by what I said. He had the potential to help our world, but something changed that. Something came and took it away from him. Something stole it from him.

Me: Oh, great—so it wasn’t Tom’s fault either that he became Lord Voldemort? Who’s fault was it, then? Who is the truly evil one here, if it’s not Tom Riddle? GOD, I hate this fic! It seems as though if you’re a Slytherin, you can do no wrong, no matter how OBVIOUS it is that a good many Slytherins are BAD!


Holly: Oh, I just can’t wait to start classes, because I’m way more awesome that Harry! However, I have to meet in the Common Room first because the Slytherins are SO awesome they will teach me about the magical world—oh, look, Theo and Sandra are already there, along with Autumn!

Me: Theodore Nott’s father was a genuine Eater of Death. How come Theo Nott doesn’t know anything about the magical world? And have I stated how much I hate Autumn Summers’s name? I mean, that’s just bad. Who deserves a name like Autumn Summers? That’s like naming your kid London Bridge—and I did know someone with that name. She hated it.

Sandra: Why doesn’t everybody tell me what they know about the magical world already, hmm?

Theo: *goes first* We are all magical, but we were raised in the Muggle world. I’m basically here for no reason, really.

Me: I’d dearly love to see how she plans to explain that, how a Death Eater would raise his family as if they were Muggles.

Autumn: I’m a Muggleborn. I don’t know anything about the Muggle world.

Holly: I was raised to believe I was a Muggle. *holds up a big WOE IS ME sign so people will notice her woe*

Everybody: *notices*

Conversation: *is promptly skipped so the author doesn’t have to deal with it*

Prefects: *lead the First Years to Charms*

Me: Right. So the Prefects have nothing better to do than hold the hands of the First Years, hmm? They don’t have, say, their own classes to get to?

Holly: Charms is taught by Flitwick.

Me: ARROGANCE ALERT. PUT YOUR CRASH HELMETS ON.

Holly: Upon meeting the tiny and eccentric man, Holly knew that she would like him, despite the fact that he annoyingly squeaked and toppled out of sight when he reached her name on the roll.

Me: Yes, Harry merely mentions it happened, while Holly calls it annoying. Oh, woe is her, how does she manage with all that fame? ROSE FRICKIN’ POTTER.

Ron: I nervously congratulate you about your Sorting.

Draco: I sneer and act in canon! For an inexplicable reason!

Snape: I dislike you. How much is three times five?!

Holly: Lucky for me, I studied all my books because I am more awesome than Harry and can answer all of his questions.

Me: Oh, like THAT hasn’t been done before! Wow, what a twist—Snape asks the questions, and the character automatically knows the answers! Who would’ve thought to put that in their fic!

Holly: *gets lost—wanders around and runs into George Weasley* My arm tingles!

Fred and George: We’d like to be your friends! And we don’t state what we’re really thinking!

Author: *won’t tell anybody what they’re really thinking, despite the fact that High and Mighty Holly can read their minds if she wants*

Fred and George: We were almost Slytherin ourselves! We are sneaky and mischievous!

Me: Yes, the only traits you need to be a Slytherin. That whole ambition thing? Being cunning? Don’t count.

Look—the only reason Fred and George might’ve gone into Slytherin is because they are extremely ambitious—they get it into their heads to do something and do it. Mischief has little to do with Slytherin. It’s the AMBITION that matters, you TWIT!!! Stop skating over the ambition part of the House because it sometimes comes around and makes them LOOK bad, because people who are highly ambitious will sometimes do ANYTHING to get ahead, and that includes join the Dark Side of the Force!

Holly: Ron congratulated me on my Sorting.

Fred and George: Really! How odd. He’s anti-Slytherin, after all. We are suspicious.

Me: He has good reasons for being anti-Slytherin, you know. He’s continually harassed by a Slytherin named Draco Malfoy. Not to mention that whole “Weasley is our King” business. The Slytherins don’t exactly try to ingratiate themselves to Ron or anything.

Fred and George: We shall lead you to the Great Hall! *offer their arms*

Holly: *takes them and trembles slightly due to the prolonged physical contact, which she wasn’t used to*

Me: Oh, for CHRIST’S SAKE—she even turns WALKING TO THE GREAT HALL into an angst fest! Why must everything be so frackin’ ANGSTY???!!!! WHY???!!! WHY, AUTHOR, PLEASE TELL US!!!! DO YOU THINK IT MAKES ME FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR CHARACTER???!!!! DO YOU THINK YOU’RE BEING SOMEHOW REALISTIC TO SOMEONE WHO’S SUFFERED ABUSE FOR YEARS???!!!! YOU’RE JUST BEING ANNOYING!!!!!


Holly: Oh, I feel at home. I’m making all the friends in the world! I’m made of win and awesome. But why is Draco Malfoy being such a prejudiced dick?

Me: Oh, I don’t know—MAYBE BECAUSE IT’S CANON THAT HE’S A PREJUDICED DICK?

Holly: And why does Ron Weasley avoid me?

Me: Maybe because you’re an arrogant little bitch who thinks she’s so much better than everyone else?

Holly: He remains an “allusive” mystery.

Me: Oh, really? What does he allude to, exactly?

First Flying Lesson: *is crammed into one sentence, as usual*

Neville: *breaks his wrist*

Holly: Well, the camera can’t be on HIM, now, can it? *glanced at Longbottom in silent sympathy as he was led away; she knew exactly how it felt to have her wrist broken, and it was not a pleasant experience*

Me: I have nothing to say. She’s worn me down to a nub.

Holly: I use my powers of awesome to sense that Draco is going to steal Neville’s whatever it is! I take it before he can get it. I also make a big deal out of it to show off how awesome I am. Now I make my move on Ron. Through bad punctuation I call Neville “Lon-Neville.”

Me: Neville deserves a much better title than Lon.

Conversation: *is brief and they make a formal agreement to be friends*

Me: Why can’t people just meet and be friends naturally? Why do we have to have this whole, “Let’s be friends” speech straight out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

McGonagall: *appears and is frumpy and tells the Slytherins to go off to their dorms*

Holly: And suddenly, I’m Seeker!

Me: Seriously. Suddenly, she’s Seeker.

Holly: Allow me to explain. I was flying randomly and Flitwick saw and that apparently makes me a good Seeker. Not that I caught anything, but that I just fly around well.

Me: Uh-huh. No catching of a Remembrall—she just flies around on a broomstick well, and that makes her a Seeker. Makes me wonder if Draco will get on the team at all this time around.

Snape: *is a general bitch to her*

Holly: I have a natural talent at Potions.

Draco: *continues to be a cock*

All the Slytherins: *are very disapproving of such behavior*

Holly: *eventually pimp-slaps Draco for calling Hermione a Mudblood*

Me: You know, I have heard little to nothing about Hermione as of late. Wasn’t she the most brilliant witch of her year?

Blaise: What’s going on between you and Malfoy, anyway?

Me: Why don’t we spork what’s going on, hmm?



“He was spouting off about Muggleborns, except that wasn’t exactly what he called them.” She gave him a significant look, which easily conveyed her meaning.

Yes, he called them turd-burgers. That’s a name that no witch or wizard should ever put up with.

“In case he has forgotten, my mother’s a Muggleborn.” She scowled, her eyes blazing.

How many Sues and Stus have I seen that have blazing eyes at some point? Oh, that’s right—infinity.

“And Crabbe and Goyle aren’t much better; they follow him around like lost puppies, but at least, they don’t actually participate in Malfoy’s shenanigans.”

Fiend fyre, anyone?

Holly actually growled then, setting her book down.

How unbecoming of your otherwise pathetically frail face.

“It’s just too much. First, he harasses the Gryffindors. Second, he makes fun of Ron for being poor. Then, he picks on Longbottom, who looks like he has lived a rather hard life. And now, this! It’s too much, Blaise. He has to stop. He’s making half the school hate him. It’s only the fifth week of school, and most of the other Houses already despise him. And not only that, but he’s making them hate all Slytherins!” she finished heatedly.

You know why he’s doing this, Holly? Because it’s canon trying to reassert itself. It’s CANON that Draco is a bigoted little bitch. It’s CANON that he treats everyone who isn’t him as if they were scum. It’s CANON that Draco Malfoy is generally a pampered, puffed-up little popinjay because he was spoiled rotten his whole life and given everything he desired and taught that Muggleborns and Muggles and anyone who isn’t pureblooded is inhuman and scum and needs to be put down. His father was a very, very loyal Death Eater—one of the tops. Lucius Malfoy levitated helpless Muggles at a Quidditch match. Draco Malfoy was glad when Cedric Diggory was killed. Draco Malfoy jumped at the opportunity to gain a little power when Voldemort offered him the Dark Mark, even though he curdled once it came down to it. These are all canon facts. Lucius Malfoy is an evil follower of Lord Voldemort, and Draco Malfoy is a spoiled rotten, useless, bigoted piece of work who likes nothing more than to put down people who aren’t him.

Does that answer your question, Holly? Or should I say, AUTHOR?


“Calm down, Holly.” He placed his hand on her trembling shoulder and rubbed soothing circles, noting that she flinched.

If I hear one more reference to how she was abused by the Dursleys, I will kill someone. Don’t you think I won’t, either.

“I wasn’t going to say anything about your mum or any Muggleborn for that matter.

She really didn’t accuse you of it, Blaise.

I have always thought that particular prejudice ludicrous at best, and the rest of my family agrees with me.”

Ah, yes, Blaise Zabini, the guy who has a femme fatale for a mother and who called Ginny Weasley a “filthy little blood traiter.” You know, author, there is only so far you can go with this whole “Slytherins are just misunderstood” motif you insist upon cramming down our throats. Meaning canon is staring you in the face and you refuse to see it.

He smiled and winked at his friend. “Though, I think Malfoy might want to change is own opinion on the particular subject.”

Oh boy, here we go—let’s talk about how awesome Holly is now, that’s a subject she never tires of, even though she constantly pretends to barely hold up under it all!

Holly laughed. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” Blaise smirked mischievously. “I overheard Flint talking with one of the female Prefects about it.

What eleven-year-old boy says “female” to describe any girl?

She was wondering how to punish Malfoy,

Spanking machine, cat-o-nine, midget wrestling…

but he thought that the mark you left on his face was punishment enough. Apparently, it’s going to leave a bruise for a while, and Madam Pomfrey refused to treat it after Theo let it slip that Malfoy was insulting Muggleborns,”

Pshaw. If Madam Pomfrey did that, Draco would write home to Daddy so fast she wouldn’t even have time to pack after Lucius got her fired.

Blaise added the last bit in an undertone. He conveniently left out the part where Nott had purposely told the nurse about the blond’s behaviour because he too thought it was out of line.

Err…no, he didn’t. He said it right there that Nott told Pomfrey about Draco’s name-calling and mud-slinging.

“Flint did mention that he might have to let you try your hand at Beater instead of Seeker,” Blaise put in after a second. “He said that anyone who could hit Malfoy that hard could probably whack a Bludger like the Weasley twins.”

Beware Holly’s ninja-like strength and powah! Rose Potter, anyone?

Holly snorted. “I can actually picture him saying that.”

(Holly): Especially if it involves praising me!

“I don’t have to. I was there.” Blaise grinned, happy that his friend was now at ease. He removed his hand from her shoulder, noting that she unconsciously relaxed.

Yes, let’s all talk about that again. It’s a subject we never grow tired of, and it’s a good thing, too—because the author never stops talking about it!!!

“And as far as Longbottom and the rest of the Gryffindors go… well, I think that they are beginning to realise that it’s not Slytherins in general;

Even though the Gryffindor and Slytherin rivalry is something to behold. You know, Slytherins weren’t exactly friendly to the Gryffindors, and vice versa.

it’s just Malfoy and his goons that seem to be insane.”

Inbreeding. Just look at the Blacks and the Gaunts—it makes you crazy and prejudiced.

I do wonder if the author will ever try to write off the Blacks’ and the Gaunts’ behavior. I’ll laugh my stinkin’ head off if she does.


He exhaled heavily and moved to seat himself next to his friend.

Not that kind of go!

“I think that Draco simply has this childish need to bully someone, and they just make prime targets.

Blaise Zabini: Resident Psychologist.

Honestly. Do you expect me to believe that two eleven-year-old children would sit down and have a logical conversation about Draco Malfoy’s psyche?


The Gryffindors because of their House, Ron because of his family, and Longbottom because he won’t stand up for himself.

Don’t you go insulting Neville Longbottom, you little twat! I won’t have it!

Crabbe and Goyle go

—on the john, not on benches like you do, Incontinent Blaise Zabini.

along with it because they have been friends with him for so long and--”

“And what?”

Blaise hesitated, looking around the library before leaning in.

Oh, stop making it out like it’s a big secret. Everybody knows.

“Well, all three of their parents were said to be Death Eaters, followers of the Dark Lord,” he whispered softly. “And not only that, they were supposedly in his inner circle.”

They were in the inner circle. And they quite enjoyed it, too. There’s canon evidence for that, you twerp.

Holly’s eyes widened in shock. “What?” she murmured back, thankfully remembering to keep her voice down. “But… I mean--”

Don’t worry, the author’s about to write it off in a profound fit of stupidity.

“Oh, they were forced into it. He threatened their families and used Imperius… a mind-control curse on them,” Blaise hastily corrected at her confused look. “And even though he’s gone, their parents are still frightened that he’ll return and punish them for associating with Muggleborns.”

That’s right, folks. It was all Imperius and blackmail. Voldemort didn’t have any real followers.

Well, you know what? THAT’S STUPID.

I’ve already stated how we have canonical evidence that the Malfoys, Crabbes, and Goyles were big time followers of Voldemort. But you know what else? Inner circle means most trusted members. Inner circle means people who really, really believed in what they were doing. Voldemort would not force people to become part of his inner circle—even he knew that would be incredibly stupid! You had to join willingly! If you force unwilling people into your inner circle, you encourage traitors and spies! Who does this version of Voldemort think he is, Madam Medusa?!


He paused

And then the Grinch put a hand to his ear.

as a pair of Ravenclaws stopped at a nearby bookshelf.

His companion sat quietly,

Would you just call her Holly, please? This writing style is incredibly awkward.

absorbing the information. Hagrid had mentioned that there would be Death Eater’s children at school with her, and he had implied that the Malfoys were somehow involved. But she hadn’t imagined it would be this bad!

Yes, Holly, you’re in the Slytherin House, and there are other people there like Malfoy. I wish there had been a Lestrange in Holly’s year—I would love to see how somebody could write off a child of Bellatrix Lestrange as misunderstood.

“As for Weasley and Longbottom,”

—I hope that they both manage to escape this awful fic before they’re warped any further OOC.

Blaise said after the two older students had left, “their families were opposed to You-Know-Who throughout the war. Malfoy knows this, so he attacks them. He’s afraid that his family’s position will be held against them by either the Dark Lord’s enemies or You-Know-Who himself if he ever returns.”

And despite the fact that dearest little Holly now knows that the Longbottoms and the Weasleys are good people, she’ll still treat them like crap.

Holly nodded thoughtfully. “How do you know all this?” she asked after a moment.

“My older cousins. Also, Draco and I are related,” he replied easily before picking the topic up again.

And you and Draco are probably distantly related, too. As we already know, all the old pureblooded families are related.

“Anyway, a number of Slytherin – and quite a few Ravenclaw –

Yes, let’s besmirch Ravenclaw to make sure Slytherin doesn’t look bad.

families were forced into severing the Dark Lord.

O_o Lord Voldemort was into sadomasochism.

He wanted the allegiance of his old House,

Noooooo, as I’ve stated before, people who might be into supporting the Dark Lord are almost invariably attracted to Slytherin. I doubt he cared what House they were from—in fact, we know he didn’t care. He wanted allegiance from purebloods, because he knew he could use them. He’d take them from other Houses if he thought they’d serve. He went on about blood purity, and they just trooped along behind him. They went willingly. Stop changing canon just so you can make the Slytherins look good.

and when they wouldn’t support him, he started murdering them off. All of them. Parents and children.” Blaise shivered, Holly echoing the action.

Because the Dark Lord is a mean poopie head.

“The others were scared; most caved to save their children and spouses,” he said softly.

Just like Rose Potter, this person has no grasp of how an eleven-year-old child talks.

“The people who went to the Ministry for help were killed off as well. There were spies who ratted them out, but usually, they were tortured brutally before they were killed.

Makes me wonder—where are all the people who were spying for Voldemort? Who are these spies, if all his other followers were forced into it? Are there any actual bad guys in this story? I wonder if she’ll try to explain Umbridge off as a good guy—she was a Slytherin too, after all.

The Dark Lord doesn’t like betrayers, and that’s what he saw them as: traitors to his cause. If you were not with him, you were automatically against him.

Thank you for explaining it to us in simple terms, Blaise. We’re so stupid we might not have cottoned onto the fact.

That meant he had the right to murder your entire family.” He sighed heavily, blowing his hair from his face.

“Eventually people stopped refusing all together and simply acquiesced to his demands.”

Right. Like an eleven-year-old would know that word. You know what, author? You fail. You fail hard. Barbossa > you.

“That’s terrible.” She looked at Blaise hesitantly. “Did they approach your family?”

Zabini is established as hating Muggleborns and blood-traiters.

The caramel-skinned boy managed a small, ironic smile. “Yes, but we fled to our ancestral home in Italy.

Right. Because Italy’s far enough away from Voldemort to escape his wrath. You dopes—Italy’s practically across the street from England—Europe is tiny. And Blaise is black, not “caramel.” Gawd, I hate food metaphors for appearance.

A few others left the country also, but most didn’t have that option. They had nowhere else to go.”

They’re all alone…there’s no one here beside them…

“Oh.”

Both sat in stunned silence for a few minutes before it was broken by Holly.

What? She broke it? Abuse!!!

“If Draco’s parents are truly afraid, they could just tell him to avoid Muggleborns all together,” Holly said, eyes still wide with lingering surprise.

I’ll bet that looks really funny.

The boy nodded. “I know that, and you know that… as does Draco. Still, he seems to possess the need to bully them at every turn. He could just be over-compensating.”

And yet again, the author brings up the whole “It’s all an act.” And once again, she FAILS.

Holly smirked faintly. “Do you think there’s a way for us to help him get rid of this need, short of beating it out of him? Like I said, he could just avoid them.”

I wonder why nobody else thus far feels the need to do this.

“I don’t know. I think that we might just have to wait it out.” Blaise shrugged. “Though, I think a few… er… reminders would not hurt.”

So they’re gonna beat him up. That’s nice. And Malfoy is the bully, while they call themselves his friends?


Holly: I continue my tutoring in wizarding culture, and I spend the majority of my time with Blaise. I refuse to apologize to Draco, because I am right. And now, it’s time to angst. Halloween arrives—oh, boo hoo, it is the anniversary of my parents’ deaths! *whines loudly about it*

Me: You know, Harry never whined about it or went into great lengths to be angsty on Halloween. Do you know why? Because he didn’t know it was when his parents died. You don’t suddenly go into mourning. Who even told her when her parents died, anyway?

Holly: I am anxious for some reason! I sense something bad is going to happen, because I am awesome. And my scar keeps prickling.

Me: I’m going to leave this little bit intact, as I have several problems with it.


I’m just going to the loo.” But what she truly meant was, “I am going to sneak back to the dorms.”

Dark-brown eyes studied her before he nodded. “Right. Would you like me to go with you? I can wait outside. Don’t forget that the Samhain celebration is supposed to start tonight, so we don’t want to miss out.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, noticing that she trembled more than normal.

“No, I will be perfectly fine,” Holly answered evenly, hazily remembering that Flint and Alex had mentioned a celebration in the dorms.

She had a vague idea what it was supposed to be about, but due to her slight aversion to the Common Room as of late, courtesy of her strained relations with Malfoy, she had missed out on learning what it was to entail. All she knew was that it had something to do with the wizarding holiday Samhain and respecting the dearly departed.

Blaise looked like he didn’t quite believe her but acquiesced. “Right then.” His eyes followed her as she stood and exited the Great Hall, knowing that she really just wanted to get away from the celebration.

Right, then. One. No quotation mark. Fifty points from your House. Two. She says she’s going to the loo, and Blaise asks if he can go with her. What a perv. Three. The wizards do NOT celebrate Samhain, they celebrate Halloween. They are not Wiccan. They are magical people. So Don’t. You. Dare. Four. If you use the word “acquiesced” one more time, I will bitch-slap you into next week.

Holly: I go to the girls’ toilet anyway, just to honestly say I’d been there before I go back to the Common Room. What’s this? I discover Hermione!

Hermione: *whines*

Holly: *comforts*

Me: The following also needs to be left intact. It’s hilariously bad.


Holly had just finished calming the distraught Hermione when she heard a dull pounding in the distance. She stretched out her mind, only to ram into a slow and quite alien presence, which was quickly approaching the loo.

‘This is not good,’ Holly thought to herself, wondering what in the world to do.

However, she didn’t have long to think as the toilet door opened, and an overpowering stench filled the room. A troll had just walked into the loo; a very big troll with a very large club had just walked into the loo.

The following minutes were fraught with confusion as she pushed Hermione behind her and brought her wand to her hand. She felt more presences fast approaching, both of them familiar, but Holly had no time to focus on them as the troll swung his club toward the two girls. She ducked, pushing Hermione further back.

Holly was not exactly certain what followed because all she knew was that apparently she, Blaise, and Ron somehow managed to levitate the troll’s club onto his head using the very same spell Flitwick had taught them earlier that day, the same one Holly used on her trunk. For several moments afterwards, the four first-years gaped at the troll quite stunned by the entire incident.

Yes, folks, that is it. That is the troll scene. Don’t you just love cribbing and cramping? But she’s not done yet! She includes the next bit, too.


What happened next was sure to go down in Hogwarts’ history books. Quirrell clutched his chest at the sight of the troll and sat on a toilet when his legs gave out. Hermione Granger lied to a teacher, telling McGonagall that Holly had seen her pursuing after the troll and that Blaise and Ron had followed to bring her back. McGonagall awarded twenty points to Slytherin for helping a fellow student and deducted another ten from Gryffindor, which was balanced out by the ten Ron earned. Snape seemed as though he was proud of Blaise and managed to glare at Holly at the same time.

Yes, it was the stuff of Hogwarts’ legends. Too bad that almost nobody would ever know the truth. At least, not for a while.

Yes, it’ll go down in the history books that Quirrell’s legs gave out and he sat on a toilet.

Holly: I also make it my quest to be friends to Neville Longbottom, though it shocks everyone!

Me: Neville doesn’t need you, you arrogant little toad. He can handle things perfectly well on his own.


Time to spork an author’s note.

AN: First, I mentioned that Theo Nott was raised in the Muggle world,

Why, yes, you did. Care to explain that?

even though his uncle was a known Death Eater.

It was his father, you dolt.

The explanation is that his parents fled to the Muggle world to escape the Dark Lord because they were among those Voldemort threatened.

And Voldemort will never find you if you pretend to be a Muggle! Curses! He was foiled again!

This will come into play later in the series.

I’m sure it will, even though it’s grossly inaccurate.

Also, I have had quite a number of complaints about the Slytherin “friendliness” and McGonagall, all of which I will address now.

*straps in with a margarita* Can’t wait to here this.

First, the Slytherins are trying to impress Holly, so they will tend to be nicer to her.

Hmm—you know, that kind of undermines your whole “Slytherins are just misunderstood” vibe. They’re only doing it to impress her—they don’t really mean it. Did you intend to make them come off as actually canon, trying to make friends in high places?

Second, in canon the Serpents were only mean to Harry after he became a Gryffindor and after he had insulted one of their Housemates, Draco.

Don’t call them Serpents. They’re Slytherins.

Although Malfoy was a prat in the beginning, there were no mentions of the Slytherins going out of their way to harass Harry before that.

But there are plenty of times afterwards where they harass him. That doesn’t exactly make them a friendly lot.

Third,

(Author): —the onion dip at the diner down the street really sucks.

this is a Slytherin-is-not-evil-but-merely-misunderstood story, so they’ll probably tend to be nice to Holly. That isn’t even mentioning the fact that she is their Housemate.

You still have yet to explain why they are grossly out of character and all lovey-dovey to Muggleborns even though a great number of Slytherins were proven to be very nasty pieces of work.

Fourth, while McGonagall tries to be fair, she does have a bias against Slytherin, and it is something that she really cannot help. She is a Gryffindor, so she will tend not to like them in general just because of that, even though she does try to overcome her dislike.

Let’s examine that statement.

Take a big, steamy gawk, folks.

And now, let me remind the author that McGongall took 150 points FROM HER OWN HOUSE in the very first book. Did you forget that fact, author? McGonagall is not biased—there is proof of only one teacher bias, and that would be Snape—and it’s a huge bias.


Finally, the story is from the POV of the Serpents, so they’ll tend not to like McGonagall in return and will, therefore, see her as biased.

And thus you are completely killing any part of the “Slytherins are misunderstood” part of your story. You’re making them dislike Gryffindors, and you’re making them befriend Holly Potter just so they can impress her and make friends with her so they can have a friend in a high place. Are these seriously your intentions, author, or are you just that stupid in your attempts to defend your appalling characterizations?

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