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SJ - Das Sporking

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*Artwork by sylvacoer; done as fanart for "The Wedding Crashers"


Cat - Buzz
She was a good girl. Even-tempered, affectionate, beautiful, and enjoyed waking up everyone at five in the morning screaming her head off for her daily fish oil (a.k.a. hairball remedy).

PJ isn't taking it well. That's probably the worst part. He keeps looking for her.

Sep. 12th, 2014

SPN - Castiel - Close zoom
Very bad news.

Buzz--the black one. Her kidneys are shutting down.

I can't take this.

Fuck this year.

Moving forward.

SPN - Castiel - Bloody Godstiel 1
Family visited, found out I might have to move back to Oklahoma at the end of the year, got pissed off at my work place to the point that whether I move or not, I'm quitting, and have been reliving my childhood.

We're gonna focus on that last one.

I have been watching cartoons and playing video games I enjoyed as a kid. Main game I've been focusing on is Blake Stone: Aliens of Gold, and I found out that it actually might've been one of the big ones. Wolfenstein 3D was the first, of course, the one that changed everything and basically made hardcore gaming. Blake Stone got released after that one did, which was all fine and dandy. It introduced a lot of new stuff--new guns, new settings, turned up the gore, introduced more monsters, had better was a fine game. I love it.

But one month after Blake Stone hit the gaming was promptly Doomed. See what I did there. Yeah--the one and only Doom got released shortly after, which further revolutionized gaming and made history because Doom is Doom. It's just Doom. You know. Doom. So Blake Stone got forgotten. But it's an awesome game! I played it a lot. But looking at these, I'm mostly reflecting on how I am now old enough to say I witnessed the evolution of gaming itself. I can now look at younger people at work and go, "Your modern games don't have shit on the old ones." 'Cause they don't, so there. *shakes cane* But the main point is I just look back and can't believe that I was there for it. I played Wolfenstein 3D when it first came out! I remember playing it with Hyde. I remember playing all kinds of seriously old games. We were AWESOME at Captain Comic and Novastorm. We were so kickass at Novastorm that we knew exactly when to die to maximize our points and upgrades. We never died unless we wanted to. Same with Prince of Persia. (Okay, we weren't as good at that one and never beat it--it or the sequel. Shut up.) It's just fun--it's like someone being old enough to talk about how cars evolved, or how television evolved. Makes me feel old, even though I'm not.

As for cartoons, been rewatching "Rocko's Modern Life" and "Eek! Stravaganza". Oh, my God, I forgot how dirty Rocko was. Mostly because I watched it when I was a kid--and that was just it. People often credit "Ren and Stimpy" for bringing adult humor into cartoons, but that one was never intended for kids. "Ren and Stimpy" aired at night, clearly aimed for adults. Kids are in bed, adults can enjoy some gross-out and perverse humor from two disgusting animals. I also consider it pretty damn low-brow. Rocko, on the other hand, was clearly meant for kids. It aired after school--I watched it all the time. I loved that show! And, had this. Between that and "Animaniacs", I think we're all set.

Ah well. Reminiscing.

Jun. 17th, 2014

RD - Flower 01
That's it. It's over.

I am trying to focus on the one "good" thing, that being that the fight, struggle, and pain for her are over. I don't want to let unhappiness and cynicism get to me. Part of me wants to scream in anger, demanding to know what the whole point of the fight was, then. She went through chemo, double mastectomies, all kinds of treatments to try and stop it, and it all just led to this. Same fucking thing that would've happened if she'd done nothing.

I refuse to let my mind go there, because there was a point. I know what that point was, and to ignore it would be an insult to Cathy. I'm not gonna do that. There was a point.

She didn't just fall over and wait for death. She fought and clawed and suffered and earned those extra months that let her finally get married to my uncle and visit Buena Vista one more time.


I think one of my coworkers is hitting on me. Huh. That's weird. No idea why he would feel inclined to do so; I work with a plethora of very attractive ladies. Maybe I'm imagining things--prolly. Either way, he is nice to look at, so I won't object if it's the truth.

Anyway, long last, I am updating. Felt I should, considering the last thing my LJ has been sitting on was THAT bit of unpleasantness. I didn't get in to see my psych early, but I did talk it over with her when I saw her; she made me feel a lot better about what happened, because she pointed out that I didn't go into a tailspin and recovered myself and worked through it. The fact that I did put a smile on my face and soldier through it instead of immediately running from work or trying to get out of things was a good sign, she said. I think I agree. I'm hoping that after my visit next week, I can dial back to once every two months.

I went on vacation! After a year and a half, I FINALLY went back to Oklahoma! YES! I saw my BABY. Oh, my little snuggles--how I missed him. PJ missed me, too. He sat on me so much--and there was a ton of whining. We took them all to the vet, too, as Hyde and I pointed out that Marten was obviously in a lot of pain--her arthritis has gradually been getting worse, but I think it's been so gradual that mom and dad didn't notice--after a year and a half, though, Hyde and I DID notice, and once she got a steroid shot, she was moving so much better. Buzz has lost three pounds! She's so flabby now--looks like she's wearing sails. She's got a long way to go, but she is doing better. Good girl!

Man, being home reminded me how much I miss it. I enjoy Nashville, don't get me wrong (save for the roads and the fact that nobody in this damn city knows how to ACCELERATE THROUGH THE TURN), but I am an Okie at heart and always will be. I want my big flat expanses and stubby trees and grid roads. No matter where I go in my life, I know I'm eventually gonna circle right back and settle permanently in Oklahoma. It's just a fact. I love it too much to leave it forever.

On the bright side, Mom, my aunt, and Peep are gonna come visit us in June. That's gonna be nice--Peep loves coming out here and sitting on our porch. Another upside, we always treat him to a steak dinner, which is ALWAYS something to look forward to. Mmm...

I'm gradually getting back into my sporky self. I'm sure everyone who reads this and is a member of the comm knows that there was a nasty bit of business a couple of months ago, and that soured me something fierce. But I think I'll be working on my 15 Reasons tomorrow; people have been messaging me about it, wondering when the BD recap is gonna start up again and finish. Well, hopefully soon.

Other than that, I'm mellow. Enjoyed my vacation, feeling a lot better about things, and am now counting down the days until June.

'Nother update on my Aunt Cathy.

RD - Flower 01
It's possible that my aunt's breast cancer has metastasized. If that's the case, it means it's Stage IV, and...I know what happens when it's Stage IV.

However, there's the possibility that the spot they found isn't related, and if it isn't, it means she has a very good prognosis.

So please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. We find out this week which one it's going to be.

My Dragons

SJ - Das Sporking
Mrs. Hyde and I are dragon owners at Dragon Cave. Help our dragons hatch, grow, and stay alive by clicking on them. Thank you!

Das Mervin Mrs. Hyde

*remaining calm*

SPN - Sam - OMFG
Okay. So, what happened in tonight's SPN episode means one of two things.

Spoilers abound.Collapse )


RD - So taking it to LJ
Hey, look at that! I'm back. Firstly, I'm sorry if I worried anyone with the Christmas post. I'm better, fine, and everything worked out very well. In fact, I'm more hopeful and happy than I have been in a long time. We are all good.

HOWEVER. The title of this post obviously indicates that I am NOT fucking happy. The reason I am not fucking happy is because I'M BEING FUCKING PLAGIARIZED.


Oh, it's not exact. She's not copy-pasting it or anything. But that is CLEARLY my recap. She hits the same points I do, she often paraphrases my EXACT COMMENTARY, just trimming it down and rewording it, but she does in my exact style. Bolded small quotes, italics for larger paragraphs. And the large paragraph she quotes are pretty much the exact same large paragraphs I quote. Her counts are similar--she has one tallying bad subtle foreshadowing, has one that is basically the Airhead and Rose Potter counts, she's just comparing it to a different badfic, she's counting the time jumps as a separate count, something I give Airhead points for and often harp on about, and even rips my count off completely by counting the Crooked Smile of Doom. She also has a side project going on in the recap called "Twihard Stupidity", matching my own "Twihard Idiocy". She is even ripping off Mrs. Hyde, because she doesn't call him Edward--she calls him Wardo.


You have NO idea how pissed off I am right now. I have spent FIVE FUCKING YEARS working on that. I have poured so much energy and thought and EVERYTHING into those recaps, I am proud of them, and she is stealing them and getting all kinds of reviews and favorites for it. Has been since October of last year.

Believe me, Miss Follow Those Owls, you are NOT going to get away with this. You are NOT going to continue with your "original" review. THOSE. ARE. MINE.

ETA: *Aro-like cackle* Oh, she KNOWS, guys. She knows. An anonymous review showed up citing her for plagiarism and it vanished within five minutes. She bahleeted that baby IMMEDIATELY. But you can't delete signed reviews! *glee* Yeah, that's right, mine's gonna SIT THERE, as are any other signed reviews that bring up plagiarism. *rubs hands together* I gotcha now, bitch.

Christmas Tradition~

RD - White Christmas
Come on, everyone. I do it every year; you should know the lyrics by now. Sing it with me...

Merry Christmas, my flist. Hugs and cookies for all.
RD - Lobsters out of my ears
CUSTOMER: Excuse me, can I ask you a question?

ME: Certainly! What can I help you with?

CUSTOMER: I have a six-foot Christmas tree, and I was wondering if you thought this would be enough to decorate it. *gestures to fewer than thirty small, classic Christmas balls*

ME: For six feet? I really don't think so.

CUSTOMER: Do you have other ornaments?

ME: Oh, absolutely! These are just the ones we store in our dollar spot. We have a bigger variety back in seasonal. Of course, if you want to stay cheaper, you could just pick up more of the ones you've selected.

CUSTOMER: Hmm--do you think I have enough balls?

ME: *without even the slightest hesitation or crack in my exterior* Yes, I think so. Mixing in plain with other shapes is usually a nice display.

CUSTOMER: Good. *suddenly realizes what he asked me and blushes and squirms a little* You...know what I meant.

ME: *mildly* I didn't say anything.

CUSTOMER: And I thank you for that.

Christmasy things.

RD - White Christmas
So, to everyone I usually send cards or gifts to--they will be late this year. I'm sorry about that, but I'm concentrating on other matters at the mo. But rest assured, you WILL get presents. I know what I'm doing for it; it's just a matter of getting the opportunity to do it.

I'm still writing on the story I mentioned a while back. It's expanding, mutating into other things...either way, it remains rather unconventional in the romance department.

In the meantime, have a Claymation Christmas!

I can relate to that particular story.

SPN - Misha birdman
I really can. Because I have had multiple instances of people mistaking Hyde and me for a pair of lesbians in love.

Seriously. Both online and off.

Okay, so....

SPN - Castiel - We're gonna do it
So I watch the sneak-peak of this week's SPN episode, wherein Dean gives a description of what sex is like for him.

I watch it, and read the transcript of it.

Then I go back, look over the ways I have written Dean describing sex while he's actually doing it in "Writing on the Wall"...

...Read the way he describes it in actual canon again, see the way he thinks about the act of sex...

And I think, Damn, I'm good.

(Yeah, I know. I know I'm not the only one by far who got that right. But it's nice knowing I'm one of them.)

PS: Goddamn, SPN gets shit past the radar. Seriously. Watch the clip. Ain't just talking about his speech--I'm talking about the ladies' reactions. There was a time when we thought Meg simply telling Cas that his threats make her wet was getting shit past the radar.

Supernatural S9 Worries

SPN - Jimmy - B&W Sad
There are spoilers under here--I'm not doing anything to hide them from myself, so if you don't want to see any hints as to what's gonna happen later on, don't go in here.

I don't mind it happening--I mind the WHY.Collapse )

Drive By!

SPN - Dean/Cas definitely taken
Did I mention that we're posting a LOT of Dean/Castiel porn over on AO3? And that this Saturday kicks off the long run of very porny pieces?

Yep. "Writing on the Wall" finally went up over there. I'm about to start it over on my own writing journal, but they are all in one piece and won't be split up at all over there. Go see Dean freak out over like-liking a guy, watch Sam be awesome, cringe when Dean says the wrong name in bed, and send Bobby ALL of the chocolate and whiskey for having to put with as much as he does.

And go read the porn. Because there will be a lot of it.

*waves little flag* Porn!

I saw this on

SPN - Castiel - Are you for real?
...and just had to bring it here to spork. This is a summary that someone provided for Twilight. I'm gonna hazard a guess and say that Hillias J. Martin of the New York Public Library never actually READ this book before setting out to write this.

Headstrong, sun-loving, 17-year-old Bella

HEADSTRONG? Where in the hell did you get THAT?

declines her mom's invitation to move to Florida, and instead reluctantly opts to move to her dad's cabin

Charlie does not live in a cabin. He lives in a perfectly normal two-story house.

in the dreary, rainy town of Forks, WA. She becomes intrigued with Edward Cullen, a distant, stylish, and disarmingly handsome senior,

He was a JUNIOR, just like Bella was, otherwise they never would've had their class together.

who is also a vampire. When he reveals that his specific clan hunts wildlife instead of humans, Bella deduces that she is safe from his blood-sucking instincts

She never deduced that and she never cared. It was always made clear that she was supposed to be in danger from his desire to eat her like a hot fudge sundae, and she always did her best to throw herself in the WAY of that danger.

and therefore free to fall hopelessly in love with him.

She supposedly did that before she even found out he didn't eat animals! And even if they were people-eaters, SHE WOULDN'T CARE! Rather, she DOESN'T care!

He sighed, seeming reluctant to answer. “Well, I had a typical bout of rebellious adolescence — about ten years after I was… born… created, whatever you want to call it. I wasn’t sold on his life of abstinence, and I resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own for a time.”

“Really?” I was intrigued, rather than frightened, as I perhaps should have been. He could tell. I vaguely realized that we were headed up the next flight of stairs, but I wasn’t paying much attention to my surroundings.

“That doesn’t repulse you?”


“Why not?”

“I guess… it sounds reasonable.”

Twilight, Chapter 16 "Carlisle"

I thought about what Jacob had said early this morning, about hypocrisy. I thought about that for a long time. I didn’t like to think that I was a hypocrite, only what was the point of lying to myself?

I curled into a tight ball. No, Edward wasn’t a killer. Even in his darker past, he’d never been a murderer of innocents, at least.

But what if he had been? What if, during the time I that I’d known him, he’d been just like any other vampire? What if people had been disappearing from the woods, just like now? Would that have kept me away from him?

I shook my head sadly. Love is irrational, I reminded myself. The more you loved someone, the less sense anything made.

New Moon, Chapter 14 "Family"

“Human blood makes us the strongest, though only fractionally. Jasper’s been thinking about cheating — adverse as he is to the idea, he’s nothing if not practical — but he won’t suggest it. He knows what Carlisle will say.”

“Would that help?” I asked quietly.

“It doesn’t matter. We aren’t going to change who we are.”

I frowned. If something helped even the odds… and then I shuddered, realizing I was willing to have a stranger die to protect him. I was horrified at myself, but not entirely able to deny it, either.

Eclipse, Chapter 14 "Declaration"

“Now, of course, it might be too late for me, even if you are right about my soul.”

“No, it isn’t,” I argued angrily.

“‘Thou shalt not kill’ is commonly accepted by most major belief systems. And I’ve killed a lot of people, Bella.”

“Only the bad ones.”

Eclipse, Chapter 20 "Compromise"

The Cullens’ enormous house was more crowded with guests than anyone would assume could possibly be comfortable. It only worked out because none of the visitors slept. Mealtimes were dicey, though. Our company cooperated as best they could. They gave Forks and La Push a wide berth, only hunting out of state; Edward was a gracious host, lending out his cars as needed without so much as a wince. The compromise made me very uncomfortable, though I tried to tell myself that they’d all be hunting somewhere in the world, regardless.

Breaking Dawn, Chapter 32 "Company"

The return trip took me less time. The night was black, and so I turned off my headlights and floored it. When I got back to the house, most of the cars, including Alice’s Porsche and my Ferrari, were missing. The traditional vampires were going as far away as possible to satiate their thirst. I tried not to think of their hunting in the night, cringing at the mental picture of their victims.

Breaking Dawn, Chapter 35 "Deadline"

I don't think I need to say another fucking word on THAT.

The feeling is mutual, and the resulting volatile romance smolders as they attempt to hide Edward's identity from her family

More like hide the fact that they are dating at all. Meyer has a secrecy fetish.

and the rest of the school.

Because apparently, the Cullens weren't already DOING that.

(Granted, they really weren't, they don't hide their true selves AT ALL, but still. That one wasn't intended.)

Meyer adds an eerie new twist to the mismatched, star-crossed lovers theme: predator falls for prey, human falls for vampire.


This tension strips away any pretense readers may have about the everyday teen romance novel, and kissing, touching, and talking take on an entirely new meaning

--because the kissing is entirely passionless, the touching is restricted to faces, and the only talking people do is if it involves huge infodumps, but if it's communication, NOBODY talks.

when one small mistake could be life-threatening.

Tell that to Bella, who routinely throws herself at Edward even though she KNOWS he has trouble with her scent.

Bella and Edward's struggle to make their relationship work becomes a struggle for survival,

No, it doesn't.

especially when vampires from an outside clan infiltrate the Cullen territory and head straight for her.

And that has nothing to DO with their relationship. They aren't trying to break them up or anything like that--one guy just wants to kill Bella. It's irritating that they try to make it all about the Edward/Bella relationship, because James probably would've caught her scent anyway and tracked her even if Edward hadn't met her.

As a result, the novel's danger-factor skyrockets

--for less than thirty percent of the book.

as the excitement of secret love and hushed affection morphs into a terrifying race to stay alive.

Morphs is right--that wild plotpoint came right the fuck out of nowhere.

Realistic, subtle, succinct, and easy to follow, Twilight will have readers dying to sink their teeth into it.

Yeah, I was pretty pissed off a couple of times when reading it--I did want to eat it in my rage.

So, yeah. Willing to bet this person didn't read it. But if they DID...

Well, I always ask if Twihards are reading the same book that I did. Now we know the answer--and that answer is NO.


SPN - Dean - Faith
My father is safe. Thank you, guys.

My heart goes out to the woman and her baby that were killed, along with any other confirmed deaths or injuries that go with this one.

This season is Not Good this year. Not Good At All.

For my father.

RD - Flower 01
Multiple tornadoes touching down in Oklahoma right now, and one of them is headed right for where he is right now.

I did not expect this aspect of moving away from my state--I knew I would miss the storms, but I didn't know how much it would agitate me like this. If I were actually in Oklahoma, guaranteed, I wouldn't be upset and panicking inside like this. I never did. But now that I'm not in the path and am so distant from it and can't see it....

Just think of and/or pray for my dad and my cats, please.

Oklahoma in May

RD - Flower 01
Is not a pretty place to be.

Big tornado outbreak again--they think it might be another F5, even though it's being measured by the new Fujita Scale, which is much lower than the original when it comes to wind speed (they were still using the old one when the May 3rd outbreak occurred). Either way, it was bad. It hit at the worst possible moment--3:15 pm, when kids were being let out of school. And it hit two schools.

At least 51 dead so far, twenty of which are children.


I know my family is okay--it didn't hit any towns where I have family. But still.

*sigh* Tornado season, y'all. It's never pretty. But I know everyone down there will do exactly what they always do--just pick up the pieces, rebuild, and go on about their business. The resilience of Okies when it comes to tornadoes never ceases to amaze and inspire me, and I know they will be no different here. My heart goes out to everyone over there.

Supernatural Macros: Episode 8.01

SJ - Das Sporking
Seriously. I regret nothing. NOT A DAMN THING. And yes, I’m already planning one for episode seven and seventeen and maybe twenty-one.

This is procrastination at its finest, you guys.Collapse )
SPN - Castiel - Godstiel worried
Because yesterday I started my period so my feelings are completely out of control.

Spoilers, natch.Collapse )


SPN - Misha approved!
I have a formula for you!



Having just discovered this, I CANNOT STOP WATCHING.


SJ - Das Sporking
Madame Mervin, Hammer of Sues
The Hammer of the Sues

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