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*Artwork by sylvacoer; done as fanart for "The Wedding Crashers"

Update time.

So, this is my life so far from the last post. So frickin' much.

Firstly, tomorrow my new roommate moves in. Yep, much sooner than anticipated. I admit, I am now freaking out. But, you know. Better than nothin', and I will get used to it eventually. I have to do some emergency cleaning in my apartment, just to make it presentable, and to get his room ready for him. I also have to get my wireless plugged back in, as this computer I work on--the desktop--is NOT a community compy, as I will make quite clear. Ezekiel is MINE. That's why he's password protected. *nods firmly*

Jesus. Roommate. Living with a dude. My stomach is knotting. If he'd moved in when he'd said he was gonna, I don't think I'd be spazzing out like I am right now, as I would've had time to prepare for it. As it stands, I...did not.

Bleh. Moving on. Other topics. That are still bleh, of course.

I recently suffered a crash. Not that kind of crash--I mean a bipolar crash. A lot of shit happened all at once and triggered a crash, and it left me pretty wrecked for about two weeks. However, after I recovered, I decided to try and bump myself out of it a little bit by dressing up more than I usually do. I wore my nice red polo, put my hair up in a clip and styled it, and wore makeup. I pretty much never do that. My therapist agrees that that is a good idea; if I put effort into my appearance on a regular basis, maybe it'll make me start caring more about myself. Unfortunately, it has had an unintended side effect.

*drums fingers* Matt the Less and I have pretty much zilch going on, we are just really good friends who have laughs and flirt a lot, and we've both opened up to the other about personal problems. However, there is a girl at work who either dearly wants to get in his pants or dearly wants to get her hands on those appealing dogtags and the money that goes with them. Three people think it's the latter, just so you know. Anyway, I was dressed nicely and he and I were walking back to the breakroom, and we had to walk by her to get there. Once we got out of earshot, he promptly turns to me and says, "Dude, I think she was giving you the evil eye for hanging out with me." I told him that was stupid--why the hell would she do that? Yeah, she would do that because she apparently has decided I'm some kind of competition for a piece of military meat. She has incessantly demanded now six times why I'm wearing makeup and outright accused me of doing it just so he'd notice me--not hard to miss the scathing note in her voice, too. I was extremely unamused; I am almost thirty years old. I am too old for this high school bullshit. Add to the fact that Bunny Boiler is practically stalking him at this point, and you have a recipe for DO NOT WANT. I hope this gets sorted out soon; I don't want to be in the middle of this drama.

And no, I didn't wear it so he'd notice me. But he did anyway. And made me blush.

Finally, the best news ever. The Rifftrax crew will be riffing none other than The Room for their next live show. I love Rifftrax live, and have always wanted to go and see one in theaters when they are broadcasting, but have never found the time or a theater close enough to me.

They will be broadcasting from Nashville. AND GEHAYI GOT ME TICKETS.





Bobby, my best bud, is home now. The infection got worse before it got better, but he is now out of the hospital and on the road to recovery. He says thank you so much for all of your thoughts and prayers, and I thank you too.


The infection got worse; he had another surgery today, and now his oxygen levels keep going all over the place, so they have moved him to the ICU and hooked him up to a lot of 24/7 machines, including O2. He is going to have another surgery on Wednesday, and will be in the hospital at least until the end of the week.

More bad news.

My best friend, the one I've mentioned before who is teaching me to shoot, got very sick this week--he got a bad infection in his system, which turned necrotic. He's in the hospital right now. Thoughts and prayers would be greatly appreciated.

Just watched a movie!

I am on the tail-end of my vacation with Mrs. Hyde, and we finally sat down and watched something we've been meaning to watch for a very long time--Frozen! Yeah, that's right, I was one of three people who had not yet seen it. Mrs. Hyde was another one of those three.

Suffice to say, I will be reviewing it. But not here.

Yeah. Frozen? Let it go. My hand, at any rate. I get it--you are just so much better than everyone else and what I liked as a kid sucks because it's too mainstream.

(I didn't like it.)

And now, this post.

I got all the bad out earlier in a flocked post. And it was a lot of bad; I didn't even tell all of it. But now I'm going to list the good and try to start off 2015 right.

I didn't make resolutions per se. More like suggestions. Things I really think I should do. I only ever make the same single resolution every year: don't make resolutions. However, these are just little things. Not me determining to do them--just things that might help.

1) Dance more often.

I'm no dancer--not by a long shot--but I like doing it. It makes me feel good and is a little bit of exercise, too. So, I am resolved to dancing more often. I just need to dance, you know? It seems silly, but I'm determined to do a few things this year to make myself happier and, well, that is one of them.

2) Ignore Hitler.

If you don't know or remember, Hitler is what I call the one boss at work that I absolutely despise. I am always guaranteed to have a shitty day when I realize he's on the same shift. Well, I'm gonna try and just...pretend he's not even there and ignore his stupid voice and his stupid suggestions. Move past it, you know? Muttering darkly every time I hear his voice over walkie isn't doing me any favors.

3) Not get distracted by Matt.

Yes, I made that "suggestion" to myself, because yeah, it is to the point that when I see him wandering around, my mind wanders with him. (None of your business where. Pervert.) And it is struck through because I failed at 8:15 a.m. on January 1st when he came to our morning meeting, proceeded to lean against one of the support beams, and posed like a goddamn GQ model. I mean, we're talking he did this.

Fuck. I hate you, you hot son of a bitch.

4) Go for walks at Percy Warner.

Obviously, I can't get started on this one yet, as the weather doesn't currently allow it. However, Percy Warner is a really nice park a few miles out, and I've walked on it twice now and I really liked it. So, when things warm up, I do want to do that. If anything, it will get me out of the house more often. That's the main thing I want. I can't just go to work and then hide in my hole.

5) Try to find more good things about myself.

I have made no secret of it, and nearly everyone who knows me is aware of the fact that I hate myself and think I can't do anything well. No amount of pep-talking will help that, by the way, so don't bother. However, I recently did find something that I think I can do well, and so I...want to try and find things I like about myself. Just little things. First one of the year? I don't claim to be anything special, but the fact that I routinely get people telling me how much I've changed their lives and improved their writing through my reviews must mean I'm doing something right there. So...yeah. There's that. I'm decent at analysis and presenting it in a way that others can accept and learn from it. Go me.

And that's it. Start small, you know? I know better than to make some GRAND AND GLORIOUS LIFE PLAN because that's a huge change and you have to have the right mindset for it and I don't.

I don't want 2015 to be like last year. So...here are some things to try and make it different.

Merry Christmas.

To all. I haven't felt the holiday spirit at all this year, on account of a lot of crap going on...makes two in a row where I've been Debbie Downer. But oh well. It doesn't matter. Maybe I'll lay it all out in my end-of-year post.

For now, I shall not. Have a wonderful holiday, everyone.

I wasn't tagged. I stole it.

I feel like a meme. You know. 'Cause.

Rule 1: Always post the rules.
Rule 2: Answer the questions the person who tagged you asked with gifs, and write 11 new ones or don’t, whatever~
Rule 3: Tag 11 people and link them to the post.
Rule 4: Actually tell them you tagged them.


GIF-heavy, natch.Collapse )

I choose not to tag. Because of the last two GIFs. :P


She was a good girl. Even-tempered, affectionate, beautiful, and enjoyed waking up everyone at five in the morning screaming her head off for her daily fish oil (a.k.a. hairball remedy).

PJ isn't taking it well. That's probably the worst part. He keeps looking for her.

Sep. 12th, 2014

Very bad news.

Buzz--the black one. Her kidneys are shutting down.

I can't take this.

Fuck this year.

Moving forward.

Family visited, found out I might have to move back to Oklahoma at the end of the year, got pissed off at my work place to the point that whether I move or not, I'm quitting, and have been reliving my childhood.

We're gonna focus on that last one.

I have been watching cartoons and playing video games I enjoyed as a kid. Main game I've been focusing on is Blake Stone: Aliens of Gold, and I found out that it actually might've been one of the big ones. Wolfenstein 3D was the first, of course, the one that changed everything and basically made hardcore gaming. Blake Stone got released after that one did, which was all fine and dandy. It introduced a lot of new stuff--new guns, new settings, turned up the gore, introduced more monsters, had better graphics....it was a fine game. I love it.

But one month after Blake Stone hit the gaming world....it was promptly Doomed. See what I did there. Yeah--the one and only Doom got released shortly after, which further revolutionized gaming and made history because Doom is Doom. It's just Doom. You know. Doom. So Blake Stone got forgotten. But it's an awesome game! I played it a lot. But looking at these, I'm mostly reflecting on how I am now old enough to say I witnessed the evolution of gaming itself. I can now look at younger people at work and go, "Your modern games don't have shit on the old ones." 'Cause they don't, so there. *shakes cane* But the main point is I just look back and can't believe that I was there for it. I played Wolfenstein 3D when it first came out! I remember playing it with Hyde. I remember playing all kinds of seriously old games. We were AWESOME at Captain Comic and Novastorm. We were so kickass at Novastorm that we knew exactly when to die to maximize our points and upgrades. We never died unless we wanted to. Same with Prince of Persia. (Okay, we weren't as good at that one and never beat it--it or the sequel. Shut up.) It's just fun--it's like someone being old enough to talk about how cars evolved, or how television evolved. Makes me feel old, even though I'm not.

As for cartoons, been rewatching "Rocko's Modern Life" and "Eek! Stravaganza". Oh, my God, I forgot how dirty Rocko was. Mostly because I watched it when I was a kid--and that was just it. People often credit "Ren and Stimpy" for bringing adult humor into cartoons, but that one was never intended for kids. "Ren and Stimpy" aired at night, clearly aimed for adults. Kids are in bed, adults can enjoy some gross-out and perverse humor from two disgusting animals. I also consider it pretty damn low-brow. Rocko, on the other hand, was clearly meant for kids. It aired after school--I watched it all the time. I loved that show! And, well...it had this. Between that and "Animaniacs", I think we're all set.

Ah well. Reminiscing.

Jun. 17th, 2014

That's it. It's over.

I am trying to focus on the one "good" thing, that being that the fight, struggle, and pain for her are over. I don't want to let unhappiness and cynicism get to me. Part of me wants to scream in anger, demanding to know what the whole point of the fight was, then. She went through chemo, double mastectomies, all kinds of treatments to try and stop it, and it all just led to this. Same fucking thing that would've happened if she'd done nothing.

I refuse to let my mind go there, because there was a point. I know what that point was, and to ignore it would be an insult to Cathy. I'm not gonna do that. There was a point.

She didn't just fall over and wait for death. She fought and clawed and suffered and earned those extra months that let her finally get married to my uncle and visit Buena Vista one more time.


I think one of my coworkers is hitting on me. Huh. That's weird. No idea why he would feel inclined to do so; I work with a plethora of very attractive ladies. Maybe I'm imagining things--prolly. Either way, he is nice to look at, so I won't object if it's the truth.

Anyway, long last, I am updating. Felt I should, considering the last thing my LJ has been sitting on was THAT bit of unpleasantness. I didn't get in to see my psych early, but I did talk it over with her when I saw her; she made me feel a lot better about what happened, because she pointed out that I didn't go into a tailspin and recovered myself and worked through it. The fact that I did put a smile on my face and soldier through it instead of immediately running from work or trying to get out of things was a good sign, she said. I think I agree. I'm hoping that after my visit next week, I can dial back to once every two months.

I went on vacation! After a year and a half, I FINALLY went back to Oklahoma! YES! I saw my BABY. Oh, my little snuggles--how I missed him. PJ missed me, too. He sat on me so much--and there was a ton of whining. We took them all to the vet, too, as Hyde and I pointed out that Marten was obviously in a lot of pain--her arthritis has gradually been getting worse, but I think it's been so gradual that mom and dad didn't notice--after a year and a half, though, Hyde and I DID notice, and once she got a steroid shot, she was moving so much better. Buzz has lost three pounds! She's so flabby now--looks like she's wearing sails. She's got a long way to go, but she is doing better. Good girl!

Man, being home reminded me how much I miss it. I enjoy Nashville, don't get me wrong (save for the roads and the fact that nobody in this damn city knows how to ACCELERATE THROUGH THE TURN), but I am an Okie at heart and always will be. I want my big flat expanses and stubby trees and grid roads. No matter where I go in my life, I know I'm eventually gonna circle right back and settle permanently in Oklahoma. It's just a fact. I love it too much to leave it forever.

On the bright side, Mom, my aunt, and Peep are gonna come visit us in June. That's gonna be nice--Peep loves coming out here and sitting on our porch. Another upside, we always treat him to a steak dinner, which is ALWAYS something to look forward to. Mmm...

I'm gradually getting back into my sporky self. I'm sure everyone who reads this and is a member of the comm knows that there was a nasty bit of business a couple of months ago, and that soured me something fierce. But I think I'll be working on my 15 Reasons tomorrow; people have been messaging me about it, wondering when the BD recap is gonna start up again and finish. Well, hopefully soon.

Other than that, I'm mellow. Enjoyed my vacation, feeling a lot better about things, and am now counting down the days until June.

'Nother update on my Aunt Cathy.

It's possible that my aunt's breast cancer has metastasized. If that's the case, it means it's Stage IV, and...I know what happens when it's Stage IV.

However, there's the possibility that the spot they found isn't related, and if it isn't, it means she has a very good prognosis.

So please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. We find out this week which one it's going to be.

My Dragons

Mrs. Hyde and I are dragon owners at Dragon Cave. Help our dragons hatch, grow, and stay alive by clicking on them. Thank you!

Das MervinMrs. Hyde

*remaining calm*

Okay. So, what happened in tonight's SPN episode means one of two things.

Spoilers abound.Collapse )


Hey, look at that! I'm back. Firstly, I'm sorry if I worried anyone with the Christmas post. I'm better, fine, and everything worked out very well. In fact, I'm more hopeful and happy than I have been in a long time. We are all good.

HOWEVER. The title of this post obviously indicates that I am NOT fucking happy. The reason I am not fucking happy is because I'M BEING FUCKING PLAGIARIZED.


Oh, it's not exact. She's not copy-pasting it or anything. But that is CLEARLY my recap. She hits the same points I do, she often paraphrases my EXACT COMMENTARY, just trimming it down and rewording it, but she does in my exact style. Bolded small quotes, italics for larger paragraphs. And the large paragraph she quotes are pretty much the exact same large paragraphs I quote. Her counts are similar--she has one tallying bad subtle foreshadowing, has one that is basically the Airhead and Rose Potter counts, she's just comparing it to a different badfic, she's counting the time jumps as a separate count, something I give Airhead points for and often harp on about, and even rips my count off completely by counting the Crooked Smile of Doom. She also has a side project going on in the recap called "Twihard Stupidity", matching my own "Twihard Idiocy". She is even ripping off Mrs. Hyde, because she doesn't call him Edward--she calls him Wardo.


You have NO idea how pissed off I am right now. I have spent FIVE FUCKING YEARS working on that. I have poured so much energy and thought and EVERYTHING into those recaps, I am proud of them, and she is stealing them and getting all kinds of reviews and favorites for it. Has been since October of last year.

Believe me, Miss Follow Those Owls, you are NOT going to get away with this. You are NOT going to continue with your "original" review. THOSE. ARE. MINE.

ETA: *Aro-like cackle* Oh, she KNOWS, guys. She knows. An anonymous review showed up citing her for plagiarism and it vanished within five minutes. She bahleeted that baby IMMEDIATELY. But you can't delete signed reviews! *glee* Yeah, that's right, mine's gonna SIT THERE, as are any other signed reviews that bring up plagiarism. *rubs hands together* I gotcha now, bitch.

Christmas Tradition~

Come on, everyone. I do it every year; you should know the lyrics by now. Sing it with me...

Merry Christmas, my flist. Hugs and cookies for all.
CUSTOMER: Excuse me, can I ask you a question?

ME: Certainly! What can I help you with?

CUSTOMER: I have a six-foot Christmas tree, and I was wondering if you thought this would be enough to decorate it. *gestures to fewer than thirty small, classic Christmas balls*

ME: For six feet? I really don't think so.

CUSTOMER: Do you have other ornaments?

ME: Oh, absolutely! These are just the ones we store in our dollar spot. We have a bigger variety back in seasonal. Of course, if you want to stay cheaper, you could just pick up more of the ones you've selected.

CUSTOMER: Hmm--do you think I have enough balls?

ME: *without even the slightest hesitation or crack in my exterior* Yes, I think so. Mixing in plain with other shapes is usually a nice display.

CUSTOMER: Good. *suddenly realizes what he asked me and blushes and squirms a little* You...know what I meant.

ME: *mildly* I didn't say anything.

CUSTOMER: And I thank you for that.

Christmasy things.

So, to everyone I usually send cards or gifts to--they will be late this year. I'm sorry about that, but I'm concentrating on other matters at the mo. But rest assured, you WILL get presents. I know what I'm doing for it; it's just a matter of getting the opportunity to do it.

I'm still writing on the story I mentioned a while back. It's expanding, mutating into other things...either way, it remains rather unconventional in the romance department.

In the meantime, have a Claymation Christmas!

I can relate to that particular story.

I really can. Because I have had multiple instances of people mistaking Hyde and me for a pair of lesbians in love.

Seriously. Both online and off.

Okay, so....

So I watch the sneak-peak of this week's SPN episode, wherein Dean gives a description of what sex is like for him.

I watch it, and read the transcript of it.

Then I go back, look over the ways I have written Dean describing sex while he's actually doing it in "Writing on the Wall"...

...Read the way he describes it in actual canon again, see the way he thinks about the act of sex...

And I think, Damn, I'm good.

(Yeah, I know. I know I'm not the only one by far who got that right. But it's nice knowing I'm one of them.)

PS: Goddamn, SPN gets shit past the radar. Seriously. Watch the clip. Ain't just talking about his speech--I'm talking about the ladies' reactions. There was a time when we thought Meg simply telling Cas that his threats make her wet was getting shit past the radar.

Supernatural S9 Worries

There are spoilers under here--I'm not doing anything to hide them from myself, so if you don't want to see any hints as to what's gonna happen later on, don't go in here.

I don"t mind it happening--I mind the WHY.Collapse )


SJ - Das Sporking
Madame Mervin, Hammer of Sues
The Hammer of the Sues

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