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mervin_graphics • mervin_fics • strngbedfellows • das_sporking

NaNoWriMo 2009 Progress



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10555 / 50000 words. 21% done!

( My Icontest Winners )

Here's the post that keeps all the chapters linked so you can access them easily without sifting through all the other crap on my LJ.

Mass Disclaimer: I do not own any of the fics I spork on this LiveJournal, nor at any other communities I happen to post the sporkings. I am simply sporking to criticize the work in my own fashion. The fics themselves are the properties of those who originally wrote them and posted them online, thus making them public domain for anyone who wishes to criticize them in any fashion they like.

The fandoms in which I spork do not belong to me, either. They belong to their respective creators, producers, publishers, etc.

I do not own the series Twilight. It is the property of Stephenie Meyer.

Agent Sands does not belong to me--he is the property of Robert Rodriguez and Johnny Depp.

Professor Snape does not belong to me--he is the property of JK Rowling. We simply borrow those two from time to time to spork some particularly bad material.

Just here for the sporks?
Try das_sporking

*Note that certain links will lead you to das_sporking; all sporkings will eventually be moved to the sporking community*
SPORKS

( Ariana and the Prophesy of Gaea )
( Salvation )
( Haunted )
( Sins of the Father (By animefan19) )
( Seven Days )
( Standing My Ground )
( Child of Grace )
( Twilight )
( New Moon )
( Eclipse )
( Midnight Sun (By Mrs. Hyde) )

FICS

( The Darkest Hour )

I am a dragon owner at Dragon Cave. Help my dragons hatch, grow, and stay alive by clicking on them. Thank you!

My Dragon Cave Page



( My Dragon Collection )

Picspammy Challenge: Something Different

I love movie posters. Seriously. I cannot get enough of them—half the time, I don’t even care if the movie is good or bad, the poster is what I want. They can really make or break a movie. I don’t necessarily have the funds, time, or wall space right now to collect, but I am guilty of many an impulse buy when going through posters.

So I figured, hey? Why not use this picspam to do just that? I haven’t seen some of these movies, but I have seen the posters—damn, are they good. These are just some of my very favorite posters, no rhyme, reason, or theme. If you’re expecting order…don’t.

*Warnings: Really, none. This is a pretty tame picspam.


A Poster Picspam



( 22 images under here—not dial-up friendly. )

To all of those who already voted—I’m sorry, but you will need to recast your votes. I re-did the poll, because I realized five spots made it damned hard to figure out which one people liked best. So, if you wouldn’t mind, recast for me. Sorry!

All righty. I closed yesterday’s poll—thanks to all who voted. Going over it, it looks like the general consensus says I start posting ASAP, but only here on the journal. So I will get going on that probably this weekend, unless I want to finish the next chapter first before starting up. However, for now, I have another poll. Because THEY ARE FUN. I AM HAVING WAY TOO MUCH FUN.

Well, and I am honestly curious about this. These are the fics I wrote when I did the Eclipse recap. I want to know which ones you guys like best. So, here are the fics first, and then there’s a poll after them and you can rank your top five, if you want. I’d appreciate some feedback, and if you want to say why you liked the ones you did, feel free to mention them in the comments. This is also so I can know what directly I should write in when I’m doing the BD recap, since more ficlets were what were most requested when I got to that one.

Happy reading.

( Eleven SpiteFics )

( The Poll )

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But I'm gonna ask it again.

The brand new Twilight recap I'm working on, going through and making it bigger, better, and more involved, is, as I am sure you already gathered, taking me a while (THESE PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLES AND IDIOTS OH MY GOD). And I don't think that is very fair to you guys--to just leave you hanging after Eclipse and holding Death Baby over your head? That's not nice at all. So! Here is your poll, and your options. Since I am ultimately writing for an audience, I want to know what the audience wants. Have at it. Post is unlocked so everybody who reads this journal for the recaps/sporks can see it.

Poll #1471760 The Revamped Recap
This poll is closed.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 18

When/Where should I start posting the improved Twilight recap

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Round of applause, everybody! Hyde has officially finished MIDNIGHT SUN. Yep, she recapped the HELL out of it! It’s finished, done, over with, and boy is she glad. She hates that asshole. And so do I, dammit!

Yay, Hyde! Congratulations on a complete recap. And don’t worry—I have already promised you that, if she ever does somehow finish and publish this, I will recap it. Enjoy, my flist.

( Chapter 12 – Complications )

( Final Thoughts )

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( Chapter 27 – Needs )

( Epilogue: Choice )

( Acknowledgements: A Sporking )

( Final Thoughts )

( A Few Final Tallies )

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Sands: *relaxing, his feet kicked up on a table, eating some grapes*

Mervin: *stone-faced and massaging his shoulders*

Sands: You know, I was prepared to tell you how much you suck at this, but you actually aren’t half-bad—so you can just keep doing that.

Mervin: *through gritted teeth* The chapter’s about to start. I will need to leave.

Sands: Oh? And why is that? *smirk*

Mervin: *sigh* Because I’m a weakling who needs Sands to come save my ass.

Sands: How true—and stop digging your thumbs into my neck like that. *waves lazily* You may leave.

Mervin: *stomps off, already turning into Mervzilla and feeling a good scream of frustration building*

Sands: *pleasantly* Where were we?

( Chapter 27 – Needs )

( Epilogue: Choice )

( Acknowledgements: A Sporking )

( Final Thoughts )

*crawls up to the lappy*

Thirty-six pages.

I can do thirty-six pages. I can handle it. Two chapters to recap left, and then the rest is sporked. I can totally handle this.

PJ, Buzz, Marten? Your huge, flabby, fuzzy tummies might be required. Y’all had better be ready for duty. Okay? Okay.

*cries*

( Chapter 26 – Ethics )

( Chapter 27 - Needs )

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I was just minding my own business when, all of the sudden, for absolutely no reason, I started singing MST3K's "Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas". I sang the entire song, rocking to the beat, having a hankering to google that vid up and watch it.

This is no exaggeration. Two seconds later, I hear from the TV that Patrick Swayze has passed away.

Patrick Swayze is kind of like Michael Jackson for me--he's just...infinite. It is surreal to think of him as dead, and so young, too. And while pretty much everybody (read: girls) are talking about Dirty Dancing and Ghost, I hope some of my flist will join me in saluting his best movie: Roadhouse. Everybody knows that is the only movie ever to be so bad that it swings right around and isn't just good--no, it roundhouse kicks past good and straight into AWESOME. All while wearing no shirt, of course, and sporting that mullet pompadour--or, as Mike said, a "mulladour".

I'm gonna miss him. In honor of the man who made so many very immortal and legendary roles, I offer this loving tribute.



It's your way or the highway, man. And it always will be.

Snape: And, yet again, as that chuckle-headed chit is having the vapours at the mere thought of coming near this steaming pile of horse manure, I’ve been most unwillingly dragged from my relaxing retirement to brave the bilgewater that is Midnight Sun.

( Chapter 11 – Interrogations )

( Chapter 12 - Complications )

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Yeah, I can tell that a lot of you thought we might have reached the peak of vile with the last two chapters.

Ahahahahahahahaha.

No.

( Chapter 25 – Mirror )

Stinger: “Smugness radiated from every hair in his fur.”

( Chapter 26 - Ethics )

Well, let’s see if the massive explosion in the last chapter helped me overcome my rage, hmm? Yes, there will be Mr. Darcy if it gets particularly bad again, I’m sure, but I sincerely doubt that’s gonna happen again—at least, not until Jerkoff shows up . *scowl*

Away we go!

( Chapter 24 – Snap Decision )

( Chapter 25 - Mirror )

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Hey, all--remember this? Yes, Hyde is still trying her damndest to finish it. But it's slow going because it's seriously beating her down. That, and she's been incredibly busy, as you all know. Going to Argonne National Laboratory, playing at the Advanced Photon Source, and riding around on a tricycle wears one out. (okay, she didn't get to ride on one of the tricycles that they have all over that lab, but she WANTED to, and that counts) But we have a new chapter here! And it's awful. I mean, it's really bad. It's horrible. And Wardo is a psychopathic murdering asshole. But we all knew that already--so let's hear all about the new reasons that make him one!

( Chapter 10 – Theory )

( Chapter 11 - Interrogations )

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It pains me to go back to this so soon after being thoroughly Darcy’d. But at least now I have something to help relieve my pains. I expect fewer Pauls and more Darcys in this chapter, because it is hideous, and if I don’t Paul, I will still need something to relive my *snaps fishnets* tension.

In other words, this is an image-heavy installment of the Eclipse recaps. So dialup users beware.

( Chapter 23 – Monster )

( Chapter 24 - Snap Decision )

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Long time, no see for this, eh? I just finished it and got it beta’d. I’ve also started working on the first revamp, so hopefully, the delay between BD won’t be too long. I hammered out the intro and have done up to the Preface (of the TW recap revamp, that is), so that’s going well. I also have a small surprise for you in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it.

BTW—I’m very glad everybody liked the tidbits for the revamp revamp that Hyde and I are doing. But please bear in mind that that is a long ways off. I hope you stick with us to actually see it, if we can pull it off.

( Chapter 22 – Fire and Ice )

Stinger: “"Neither side meant any harm," Edward whispered, peace-making now.”

( Chapter 23 - Monster )

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I have a Dreamwidth account now. But it's empty at the moment, because I'm not sure what I want to put on it, so you don't need to really friend it or look at it at the moment. It's the same name as this one, das_mervin. Huzzah! Thank you, ket_makura!

'Kay, this post is unlocked for a reason, so let's get to business.

When the Twilight recaps get their move on to das_sporking, they are going to be expanded. By a lot. I'm adding so much to it--this is a highly ambitious project. I am throwing myself into this piece of entertainment like I did with Rose Potter. I'm having fun, too. I'm getting my spork on, instead of my recap this time around, and I hope it's gonna be funny. Unfortunately, it's taking forever, because something is up with the .pdf's I LEGALLY ACQUIRED, so nobody can say anything about it, and I can't get them converted into Word documents no matter what I do. That indicates I'm gonna have to type them out myself, word by word. That's irritating. But oh well--the longest one is only eleven .pdf pages, I think. That's not too bad.

So, yes. That is why Eclipse is taking so long. I'm collecting stuff and plotting. That recap will resume and finish soon, though. Then we have a looooong break as I do my thang. But here's the deal, folks. I need to know something from you guys. As you know, I am definitely revamping my Twilight recap and the first eight chapters of New Moon to suit my long-winded and entirely too thorough recap style I am currently using to make it more presentable for das_sporking. I have no idea how long that's gonna take. I'd intended to hold off BD until everything was over on das_sporking, all pretty and shiny and formatted and it's just gonna be lovely. Except that is going to be a very, very long time, and I know that, after chapter eight of New Moon, you guys will cease having any more new material for a while. A very LONG while, to be specific. And you people are my main source of readers.

So. Read your options on the poll (yay, poll!), and select what you think would be best. If none of these suit you, tell me what you want in the comments. I appreciate lots of feedback on this, as this is my LJ job, as it were. :D Thanks!

Poll #1437351 Twilight Recaps and their vague posting schedule
This poll is closed.
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 17

When/Where should I start up Breaking Dawn?

Which is your favorite recap thus far? Tell me why in the comments.

What would you like to see more of in Breaking Dawn?

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